"In the confusion of it all your heart grows fonder, yet your mind grows tired."

Everything seemed so perfect, so right that nothing could ever go wrong. Yet, wrong was there and still is. However, right still feels like it is. You try, you fight, you see worth in what others see nothing. That worth that you see is what keeps you fighting, keeps you moving throughout your days. Though, what if you're wrong? You don't know, nobody knows. No one knows what's right and what's wrong; that's the hard part. A smile, feels right, feels beautiful and true; and that's what you see, when you see them, you choose to look past their wrongs and see what's worth the fight. Though should you? Or should you save yourself? From being what isn't worth it?

You show up at their doors, broken yet strong; in a moment that strength would no longer be there. You came to fight for that person, that worth you see in them and the beauty you see in their being. However, do they want the fight? Do they see the worth? No one fights anymore; though you did. Yet it felt so wrong, and right at the same time. It was that feeling where you knew in your heart that it was something you had to do, and nothing your brain told you could stop you. Chaos arose, tears fell, darkness began to come across your soul as you tried so hard to tell yourself that this was okay; this was true, it would never be wrong to love someone who's worth loving. Yet the pain became so strong you ran; you ran to destroy yourself. You didn't make it there, because in the end it wouldn't be worth it, to destroy ones self because of darkness only let's darkness win. So instead you bury yourself in mans most popular creation; alcohol. One can say this is mans best friend, finds you joy in the darkest moments, people in the saddest ways, and strength in your weakest time. You're truly numb, and that's what feels right, but only for a moment. You're hearts back, telling you where to go, who to go to. The entire way as you stumble and walk to them you stop, multiple times; for your brain is trying to stop you yet your heart is too strong for the mind to overcome.

You're there now; your heart took over, your mind is too tired to fight anymore. You fall into their arms, or at least you wish to. While you sit there, saying things that don't matter, things that are wrong; all you want is to be held by them, to feel that right that you know is there. In the end, you sleep, drift into a slumber that is too strong to wake from. Yet you dream of them, believing they are there even though they aren't. Hours later you awaken to be alone, just as you had feared. Chaos was back, you try not to, not to speak the pain, to be as if it didn't hurt, even though it does. They take you home, they don't want you there, your fight wasn't right to them, because they don't see the worth in it; or they don't want to believe in it. They tell you they don't want you, not anymore. Yet, they hold you in their arms, lay with you and make love to you; nothing makes sense anymore, yet that felt so beautiful to you that you didn't care. When they left it felt right, though that last kiss goodbye may be the last of its kind.

And so confusion proceeds, the mind is trying to take over and the heart is fighting. Who will win in the end? No one knows. The mind tires, it's tired from being ignored, the heart is growing stronger, beating faster, loving more because it's known as right. Confusion between the two, is all that is left.
Bluetoxicity Bluetoxicity
22-25, F
Aug 17, 2014