I Love Vickie....Can you REALLY love someone you've never met and have only met online?
My answer would be:- I believe it can happen.
My Vickie likes to play. She likes to flirt around online. In the beginning I wasn't cool about that but the alternative is to not have the joy in my heart that she brings to me. Atleast she isn't in a bar picking up guys and what she does is pretty harmless.
I'm changing because of her love. I am an old fashion guy. You love me then you represent me as I represent you but that is how I think and not how she thinks. That's cool. Her flirting days will be over once the delicate touch of my lips and fingertips set sail upon her naked body. Cyber could never compete with my lips and fingertips.
And I am prepared to get on a plane in January and fly over to America to meet her which means that I will be abandoning the one girl in this world I know who truly loves me and would die to defend me and that girl is my dog Mrs Sugar. I whisper to her at night when we have our evening cuddle that no matter what woman I end up with she will always be my #1 girl. And she will be and always will be.
But I am FULL of doubts and I am FULL of fears. If you're online for hour after hour and only receive three one minute voice clips and one or two short emails then what is she doing with the rest of her time online? If you say you REALLY love someone then wouldn't you want to know all you could about them...Wouldn't this love lead to an endless procession of voice clips and emails? Am I just 'One' of many that she loves?
I guess I am seeing the answer to my questions the longer I sit here and type. It feels so good but it feels so wrong. I write to her and only her and what I'm hearing back isn't enough to slay my doubts and fears. Do I really need this I ask myself?
My heart feels heavy as I sit here and contemplate these mixed feelings that I have.....................I told her today I had given up on a dream and she told me not to as she has never given up on her dream to find that special man to spend the rest of her life with......It didn't sink in straight away what she had said but after a while I thought she's telling me that she's still looking because she still dreams of him and yet here I am being told by her that she loves me.
Yeah a big "sigh".....Yeah my heart is heavy but I have things to do.................................