Giving Her What Belongs To Her

I was 28 years old with a career in civil engineer, when I married my wife, at that time a 18 years old girl in her last year of high school. Due to our age difference and my engineer degree, I supposed myself as being the one commanding the relationship, and so it was during the first 4 years.

One day, she made me realize how my decisions were erratic in the past and suggested future decisions must be taken together. I recognized that our economical situation went indeed declining and that some of my ideas were wrong.  After two hours of a strained conversation, we agreed that every decision involving money investment had to be taken together.

I was feeling somehow bad with the fact of losing control, but I also needed somebody else, sharing the responsibility of making decisions, so although I felt myself diminished in my male ego, I began to work with her in the solution of our problems. 
 
At the beginning with some difficulties, due to my reluctance to accept her points of view, step after step, she proved her ability in taking the best decisions. By the other hand, I felt that accepting her preponderance meant my total submission to her, so I was in trouble with myself. A lot of thoughts crossed my mind at that time, including the separation, but I really loved her and separation was not an alternative to me.

Finally, I ended up accepting her clear superiority, although with one thing that still was worrying to me: what other people would think, if they know that my wife is one who makes the important determinations? I asked my wife never mention this topic to anybody, even to her mother, and she agreed.

Since then, we have improved in our economical and social relationships. Probably, the only one wise decision in my life was my recognition of her superiority. Now, after almost 30 years of marriage, what other people think or say about us, do not bother me, I love my wife just as she is and she love me just as I am and that, is what matters. 
Juxton Juxton
51-55, M
Jul 22, 2010