A text conversation

This is an edit of a couple of text conversations I had with a friend.  Some details have been removed - like names of other people.  And some of the less relevant bits have been taken out.  So if it seems a bit disjointed, that's why.

Her: Reading up on lots of new sex tips. Must get your opinion on them. Can't wait to my date.

Me: So... while I'm in the middle of a dry spell, you're going to discuss these sex tips with me and probably turn me on and get my feedback and have me let you know which ones I think will work best when you try them out on someone else? Hardly seems fair. Remind me why I bother to hang out with you?

Her: Oh I like the sound of this one, dab lubricant onto you lips as if it were lip gloss, then glide up and down the shaft, stop every now and then lips pursed to apply suction to the underside of his head. Ps you like it.

Me: Hmm. Maybe. It certainly has possibilities. I can't give a proper response, though. I'm going to need to experience it before I can give some genuine feedback.

Her: I am really looking forward to sex with someone new. This just might be the year for bad behaviour.

Her: Freeze some grapes, then put them in your mouth. Good?? Or not?

Me: Actually, that tip sounds like a good one. You should definitely try it out. Use the flat of your tongue right on his tip when you pause to apply suction, though.

Me: The frozen grapes? Maybe. I'm not sure about that one, though. You should definitely try it, because it's probably the sort of thing that'd be mindblowing on some guys.

Her: See, this is why I enjoy exchanging ideas with you. Think light suction on the frenulum would be too much? I know licking is good there?

Me: You should definitely try that. Go up the underside of his **** with the flat of your tongue, press it against his frenulum, then down and over the head. Come back up and try the suction thing you mentioned earlier. Get your lips sealed right round the crown when you do that and maybe try to get a lot of moisture or saliva going on at the same time.

Me: Shortly before you texted, I remembered that I hadn't had a **** yet, today. Which is kind of unusual for me. So I was planning one for before bedtime, anyway. I'll keep these ******* techniques as a fantasy to fuel them. Your lips on my ****...

... wait, that's not one of those silly lines that freinds aren't supposed to cross, is it?

Her: No, that was absolutely fine, it's nothing compared to [CENSORED]

Me: I was thinking of that exact same thing today. And [CENSORED] as well.

Me: So both of those things are worse than a friend fantasising about getting a ******* from you? You're happier with me dreaming about my hands on the back of your head, saying "Good girl, well done."

Her: Good girl! Wrong girl for that phrase. I am going to get all these bj tips together and ask for your opinion. Ha! That guy now lives in [CENSORED].

Her: Obvious, run tongue around inner thighs and... Yes and???

Her: Oh yes after slowly stripping him.

Me: Yeah, I can't imagine myself ever saying that unless I'm taking the ****. Anyway, I lose all words if I'm getting a blow job at all, so that kind of vocal skill would be completely beyond me. Don't just lick inner thighs - bite and nibble at them. But maybe do that early on, when you're still laughing and breaking the tension.

Her: Use one hand around base of penis, lightly squeezing, use the other to assist your mouth as you stimulate his head and upper shaft.

Her: Oh nice biting tip!!

Me: I always thought that sounded like a lot of coordination and I'm not entirely convinced that he'd even notice. I think the idea is that the whole shaft is being stimulated. Might be good on some guys, but maybe make sure your hand is coated with some sort of lube if you're going to do that. Try it, but I'm just not completely sold on it. I might change my mind if I ever experience it, though - it's still a new one to me.

Her: Think the squeeze is to increase the bld flow. Think saliva is a good lube? I am sure have done this loads on [CENSORED]. Not [CENSORED] his **** is too thick to get where it wants. Speaking of which, would love to buy edible lubes from eBay, since he watches my account!

Her: Vibe on underside base of shaft?

Her: Do you like to manually thrust into a girl's mouth and if so what do you like her to do with her tongue and lips? Can you guess the hands!

Me: Really? In that case, next time I want to buy any sex toys, I should order them through your account. That would really be a laugh.

Me: I've seen videos of guys ******* from women just pressing a vibrator against their frenulums. Looks fascinating. And if you want to play a domme role, it looks like the kind of thing you could really get off on. Cuff his hands behind his back and just take it verrry slowly on his ****. Use a vibe to bring him off with very minimal stimulation until he shoots like a rocket.

Her: My vibe is at [CENSORED]. ****, that was a hot tip.

Me: I WOULD like to thrust into her mouth, but I can't do that. [CENSORED] was a blow job expert and she thought I could **** her mouth, but she couldn't take it from me. She started choking in no time at all, even though I was taking it very easy. Never got to cut loose. I was very disappointed.

Her: That would be good to run vibe up underside of penis in general before placing on frenulum, define slow. I found a brilliant bj tip that [CENSORED] loved.

Her: So what you like her to do while you're ******* her mouth?

Me: I think if you're going to do the vibe thing and take the domme role, then the idea is to use very slow techniques. It's a delayed ******, so he'll be squirming and begging for it by the end, but he'll *** very hard. You just need to shush him every so often and keep doing what you're doing, so it's absolutely clear you're in absolute control and it really ***** with his head.

Me: I wanted to be in control while I ****** her mouth. I wanted her on her knees, just taking it. Tell her to keep her hands behind her back or head, while she was being used. I wanted her to know that I was the one setting the pace. I was going to slowly thrust my hips and build up the pace. Eventually, when I was ready, I was going to go somewhere to sit or lie down, take her hair and draw her along with me, then guide her mouth down over my **** and let her do the rest of the work.

Her: You *****! A career in erotic fiction beckons for you.

Me: I write it occasionally. It's generally well received. I should try to get published.

And in a later conversation...

Me: Variation of hand job trick. Lie him on his back with a thin towel or cloth over his ****. Put the palm of your hand on top. Don't grip or anything like that - just rub gently. The friction of the cloth on his frenulum will have great results. I do that when I want to ****, but want a variation.

Her: Another top tip. We meeting up next week?