A White Stranger

So, i am not the kind who likes to share life's experience, but this time i feel i should. Let me begin by saying that from i was about 15 years old; i am always being told how beautiful i am. I was born in the Caribbean. I have dark chocolate skin, green eyes, tall slim built a round butt and curly afro hair. Those days back in my country, i use to be shy and i was a bookworm. I wasn't too much in boys those days. So when i found my first job in a hotel as a waitress. My first day, i saw that all the guys eyes were on me, both local and tourist. So the fallowing morning i put a little white dress that was supposed to be my uniform. As i walked in the dining hall my eyes caught that of a guy from Germany. He walks over and asks me if i could butter his bread. I ask what, he smiled and said sorry if i could have breakfast with him. I tell him innocently that i am working. I saw that there were lots of dark chocolate girls like me there and i didn't seen anything that special about me that moment. I didn't wear any make-up, like most Caribbean women. We thought our beauty does not rhyme with polishing our faces etc, we like to show our natural self. The only thing we are self conscious about is our teeth. No wonder we are said to have great white teeth. Some of us have never being to a dentist in our lives. Anyway, in less than i week i was giving over 50 addresses and telephone numbers from tourist. There was this black guy from my own country that worked in the kitchen, i think i could like him, but oneday he told me that he prefer experience women than young girls. I smile but were inside, so then i met another guy from Europe. It was love at first sight. He wanted me to come join him in his hotel room but i told him i can't because here people will look down on me. They do not like women that are easy. Even if nothing happens, they will think of me as a **** and i won't feel good about myself. So i told him i rather invited him at my house. I was living with my father because my mom had passed away. I gave him my address and i waited for him. My father weren't at home so he finally found where i was living. He was very down to earth. The first thing he said when he saw my house was, it is old but it is so clean. His eyes were all over my body. He said i have the longest legs he'd ever seen. He asks if i ever consider being a model. I tell him i heard about modeling but i don't even know what it's like really. It was getting late so i ask him if he want something to eat. I made him some foods. He came in the kitchen where i was preparing the food and he started kissing me all over. I ask him to stop. He said he can't help himself. He took me up and we started kissing and he asks me where my room is. That very moment i lost a part of myself. Like he'd capture a part of me and i can't seem to take it back. We got in the room and i told him i can't made love with him before marriage. He smiled and asks if i am still a virgin. I tell him no intercourse but i don't mind experience other thing. Then i felt his tongue over my body, my skin were shivering all over. He undresses me and he said what a beautiful innocent body. He stayed in my room and call his hotel to inform that that he will be absent. He ask me if i had a telephone and he call to his country. He thought i never understand a word he was saying, but after he'd through i ask him to go. He ask why, i tell him to go his woman and i repeat what he said. He was about to get married to a woman in his country. He were sent to work in my country for 15 days. He looked at me and said i am right, he really said that. Then he ask how comes i am able to speak Dutch. I tell him incase he's not aware, i went to school. I red a lot. Yes we embrace patois in my country but i am able to speak Spanish, French and Dutch. He was sitting confused and there my father arrived. I introduced him to my father who weren't pleased at all because my father thinks he only wants onething from me. We all knew what it was, so we'd dinner together then later on we went sitting in the garden. He started telling me about his life and he showed me some pictures of his fiancé and then he tore up the pictures up and says all he wants is to stay with me. I didn't believe him. I ask him how much days are left before he leave my country, he said only two days left. He ask my father if he can stay at our house for the night and he could participate for the meal. My father was a proud person and didn't like he use the word participate. Anyway my dad said he can but he cannot slept in my room. He did agree. We spent almost all night talking and kissing each other. We both left the fallowing morning together, me for working and he for his hotel. He didn't take his eyes off me. When it was lunch service a group of American guys try to check me out. He was looking at them and one ask me why i am doing this job etc, but for me no other count, just him. He call me that night when i return home and tell me he won't get married, also he will end things with his girlfriend. I didn't believe him. The following morning, he was returning back to his country. I found myself crying all day and found an excuse to cover it up. Saying something got into my eyes etc. After he'd left for 3 weeks i hadn't heard from him. I was giving a promotion at my job and i got the position as a receptionist after my boss sent me to do a linguist exam and i passed both three of them. So i start to look at myself differently by taking more care of my body dressing more feminine and start wearing heels etc. There was not a day that men had not asked me out. I even went on a date with someone who was filled of clichés about black women. He asks me why over the internet they portray black ladies as such which is far from the reality. Anyway, i was not at all into such a person and he smells alcohol. That same night when i got home my dad said that my friend call and he will call back. I was very happy. We talked for hours and he said he will be back for my 18th birthday. We both laugh because none of us knew what our surname was. We both ask at the same time. He wrote me once per week and he speaks so much about himself, families and his country. He even ask me please not to fell in love with no one else. were days when i felt lonely and think i came of age to have a boyfriend like everyone, but as soon as i got closer to another, my mind just start thinking of him. I even went on a dinner date with a guy from my district. Who was full of himself also. He want every women. One night my father tell me not to wait on this guy. I think my father didn't like him much or let me say, lots of time, people who pretend not to like other people it's simple because they do not know them enough.

To be continued....
tictactoc tictactoc
41-45, F
Jan 16, 2013