My Ode to Women
So I am walking through the campus of the University of Texas at Austin. And I stop to enjoy the scenery. God bless women. Every single one of you. I love women. I always have, I always will.
The obvious reasons.
- They are mothers. I respect any woman who is a mom and who handles her business. My mother and I dont get along. But man, sometimes I come home and mom has my favorite meal ready at 11 pm. There is no one like mom. Moms always protect their sons no matter how old we get. And somehow every mother knows how to throw a shoe at their son when we misbehave with deadly accuracy. Moms have a sort of radar that they can always tell when we are acting up even behind closed doors. So to all the moms out there, this is for you.
- They are sisters. I love my sisters to death. My sisters are always there for me no matter how much of a jerky older brother I am. My only regret is that I do not get to spend more time with my youngest sister when she needs me the most. So to all the sisters out there, this is for you.
- They are grandmothers. Grandmas. In my language we call them dthadthi (paternal grandmother) and nani (maternal grandmother). I never got to meet my dthadthi ji. But my nani ji is someome very special to me. Just like my mom, my nani always takes care of me. The only difference is, is that my nani spoils the crap out of me. So to all the grandmothers out there. This is for you
- They are aunts. My aunts are awesome. I have one aunt who is like a second mother to me. Aunt Rita. I can go to this womans house, uninvited, unexpected, and she always welcomes me with open arms. Not to mention she makes the best cookies ever. To all the aunts, this is for you.
The nice reasons
- Just as guys do with sports, women remember details. But I think they remember the important things. How many times have I got in trouble because a minor detail was over looked. But she always remembers.
- Women are beautiful. Inside and outside women are radiating with beauty. Its a shame that alot of women succumb to the air-brushed magazine version of the woman and have low self esteem. Hell, if someone air brushed ME, I would be a good looking woman, so forget about the magazine covers!
- Women are great listeners. Back in the day four out of five of my closest friends were women. They listened to every word I had to say, no matter how stupid or mundane, women are listeners.
- Fashion sense. I would not be the stylish bastard I am today if it wasnt for one of my girlfriends telling me to change on a repeated basis. They inform us men about the rules of color cordination that we seem so oblivious too yet women seem to innately understand this.
- You set up grown man play dates. Even though I hate to admit it, my girls have set me on a grown man playdate. Whether it be a barbeque, a sporting event, or an autoshow. They always bring another decent guy to the group that we all get along with. Yes there is the occasional ***** every now and then but that only happens once in a blue moon.
- Vindicative. "Hell has no fury like a woman scorned." When it is time to regulate....you girls pony up!
The HOT Reasons
- You guys smell good. Is it you, or your lotions, sprays and shampoo? Its gotta be good. "She smells so pretty." Certain scents are like magnets to me. I smell them, and I have to follow you guys around.
- Love your eyes. I am instantly drawn to the eyes of any woman I see. And if she can work them thats even better. Your eyes tell us your mood. You can give us the "go signal", the "you better stop what you are doing there are kids around" signal, and then my least favorite the "you are in the dog house" signal.
- Breasts. (Do I really need to explain this one)
- ***. (Same as above)
- Lingerie. What is it about that little bit of fabric that barely covers you all. Drives us crazy
- The Bikini. Something so simple when worn with class is so sexy
- Short shorts. Ive seen dudes in short shorts (70s -80s NBA) and Ive seen women in short shorts. I have to say, I give it to the girls on this one. I love seeing legs.
- Miniskirts. God bless the inventor of this. More leg and easy access!
- The Black Dress. There is nothing hotter than a woman in a simple sleek black dress. So those of you who love your black dress....we love it too!
- The art of seduction. Ive personally never met a woman who could completely seduce me, but I know there are those out there who have. You guys are lucky!
Women make or break men. When I had a woman in my corner, I felt as though I could take on the entire world. Life without women is just ******. If the world didnt have women, men would die because we'd probably kill each other off in three minutes. Women bring balance, love, and sexiness to the world.
Now that I am done, I am going to go tell my sister I love her. And then I will go ob