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Like Yoda, I Talk

I firmly believe that embarrassing your children in public is every parent’s God-given right and obligation, especially if they happen to be teenagers, and I can confidently say that I have always put in at least my share of effort in this regard.

When my two were in their teens, one of my favorite and most effective ways to immediately engage their “fight or flight” instincts was "Yoda-speak." Like Yoda, questions I would ask. Respond to their questions in the same way I would. Truthfully, I did it so often that I could slip into the syntax as easily as an old t-shirt, and keep it up indefinitely. I admit that I sometimes did it for the sole purpose of seeing just how far they could roll their eyes, but it was most effective when they would step out of line.

Have a mini-tantrum in the checkout line because I won’t buy but-I-really-need-it-oh-my-gosh-I-hate-you-everyone-else-has-one?

“If like a child you choose to behave, then to your room you will be sent."

A bit of exaggerated, passive-aggressive sighing and fidgeting when I stop to speak to an acquaintance?

“Friendly and polite you must be, or tender your backside shall become.”

On I could go, but the point I’m sure you get.

They are both now well past the teenage years and are (thankfully) out of my house, so I am forced to find ways to torment them remotely. Enter grandchildren: So easily influenced, even, dare I say, corrupted. They can be taught interesting things, and then counted on to exercise an almost uncanny ability to blurt out their new knowledge at the most inopportune times. Let them get just a few months older, and their indoctrination will begin.

Embarrass their mothers, they will.
OverWritten OverWritten 46-50, M 4 Responses Dec 7, 2012

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Good one!

I wonder if the grandson's Mom will remember you did this and pass that tradition down. My son is a huge Star Wars head, and sometimes just to slow down his roll, I insist he either make his request as Yoda would, or use the Jedi Mind trick on me. Either way the application must be accurate, or the answer is an automatic no. This is way more charming than the usual drama...and I think the Jedi mind trick is a skill worth knowing! I use it on my boss who cluelessly falls for it every time. : D
Seriously though, these memories are gifts we give our children. Why shouldn't parenting be creative and fun? Thanks for a great reminder.

I love the idea of requiring Yoda-speak to slow the pace of a young mind when required. I am definitely going to pass that one along.

haha...awesome this is! :p

Enjoy, I'm glad you did.

Quite agree children as teenagers are to be embarrassed as they have embarressed us as tiny tots etc,

Yes, both the joy and dread of having young children underfoot is the complete absence of a filter between thinking and speaking.