Yoga was the first step I took on my spiritual journey. Life hasn't always been easy for me. My mom battled depression and anxiety although she never acknowledged it. My father isn't my natural father he adopted me after marrying my mom. My natural father decided to move onto greener pastures and a little girl had no place in his life. I've always been grateful that my dad chose to adopt me. The problem is, I felt that I had to be the best at everything I did in order to make sure he would keep on loving me. I also recognized my mother's insecurities and worked daily to keep them at bay. I was the kid who got picked last for everything and was beat up and bullied daily. Well, you get the picture.
After quite a few very difficult and heart wrenching years, my father and I had a huge fallout. My mother had been gone for a year and I felt as if I had no one left. I had a nervous breakdown and fell into a severe depression. I'm still not sure how I was able to come out of it enough to search for things that interested me, but was always too scared to try.
I hate to excercise, but knew that it was one of the best things I could do for myself. There was no way I was going to a gym where I'd have to deal with people I had no desire to talk to or be with. I wasn't ready to be alone, so walking wasn't an option. Then one day it hit me, I've always wanted to try yoga. I searched the internet for the perfect yoga studio and found one. It's not the kind of yoga studio that has bright lights and huge mirrors. As a matter of fact, there are no mirrors in the room. It's small and quiet and intimate. I was too shy to try a group class, so I signed up for a couple of private sessions. My yoga instructor is a very spiritual woman who has taught me the art of focusing my mind and being with myself.
As I practice my daily asanas, I am reminded of how grateful I am that I walked into that yoga studio. I'm learning to live in the now and accept me for who I am. Yoga has taught me to live life instead of just watching others live theirs.
Yoga warms my heart and soothes my weary soul.