I Love You :)
Your were Five years old when you endured the most horrifying experience any child could face. I left you in the hands of someone I thought I could in trust my beautiful baby with. You cried every time I left you alone with this person while mommy was going through a rough separation and had to work full time. One day I made a special party for this person because it was their birthday... As soon as this person walked through the door you let out a scream and started to cry. I've never known you to act this way before. You always had a fun loving and happy spirit so this was strange to me. I ran over to you and asked what was wrong but you didn't say anything to me. I didn't know what to do. I checked your face and hands thinking maybe you hurt yourself, didn't see anything unusual... I told your sisters to stay with you while I go check on the food that I was preparing in the kitchen. Everyone asked "is your baby okay?" "I'm not sure, something is wrong though." I replied. While everyone was eating I rushed back to you bringing you a plate of food... that's when I heard from your terrified sisters the horrifying news that you were being sexually abuse by this person who I just made a surprise party for. I felt like dying, I held you close. "Oh my God I love you baby, mommy is never going to leave you alone with anyone ever again!!" I went to were this person was seated "Get out of my house!" I yelled... I pulled the plate of food from their hands. Everyone was in shock they told me I was wrong for being so mean. Only a few of my family members took my side and thought it best for them to leave.
Two years later I got a call from one of my sisters telling me that the person who hurt you was dying of cancer and they wanted to know if I felt like saying my good byes... They understood if I didn't want to. I said NO I don't want to. That night I had a dream.. I walked up the steps of our church and there in front of me stood the person who hurt you...I froze in my steps.... looked like an angel with a face that glowed. they were at peace. But what about You and what about our family? We are left here to suffer in this mess. What would you think if your mommy went to the funeral, would you hate me? Would you think I'm okay with what happened to you? I need closure... Yes I do, but I love you more then any closure. Your more important then I can ever be. I sat in our kitchen table crying then you took me by my hand "mommy I'll still love you if you need to say goodbye to grandpa." Till that day I have never know any other person with such strength, such unconditional love and what it means to be human. I'm proud to have you for a daughter ; )
This was tough for me to write (many tears shed) I wrote it so that everyone knows what an unselfish daughter you are and that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE LOVE, LOVE YOU!
