You Treat Me Like A Stranger And That Feels So Rough

There I was, surrounded by a crowd of people I didn't know, and I saw him. I didn't even think about it and my body just automatically turned to avoid eye contact. My heart dropped to my stomach and all the blood flushed from my face. My knees went weak and as soon as I felt his presence grace past me, I lost my balance for a second. 
Why?? I certainly hope it didn't look as bad as I thought it did.
I just couldn't make eye contact with him, clearly I cannot even handle noticing him from a distance. 

There he was, with his girl standing in a crowd of people. The same girl that took second to me at one point. The same girl's world I was capable of shattering. 

Yes, I fell in love with someone at the wrong time... and yes it's hard to see that person. I do wonder if I cross his mind? About six months ago he told he was still waiting for me.. he needed to see me.. (while he was with her) However, it did not happen. We only talked for a brief time and then I think common sense prevailed and he left me alone.  But how could two people feel so much for each other when they've never even kissed? I do not know.. all I know is that I do not expect him to wait forever for me.. let alone still have feelings for me. People move on and I get that.  I care about him and got so dangerously close to him. I just hope she treats him right. I don't think I will ever forget him. 

I will never forget how I kept made my decision based on logic rather than emotions. I could have given up everything just to be with him. Obviously something in my mind was holding me back... and even though I think that this was for the best, why am I so hung up on what could've been?
kelsijade kelsijade
22-25, F
May 14, 2012