I see this number everywhere. I see it on pricetags, phonenumbers, the time, dates, I see it everywhere. It shoots his image in my head instantly. I don't know what it means, neither did he. I asked him about it once, he just said he liked how it sounded. I think I know what it means now, it means that even though he's far and even though we don't talk, it keeps him in my mind everytime I see that number.

I don't think he can begin to realize how much I miss just loving him. I miss missing him and knowing it'll only last a while before I get to see him again. I think missing him is what I loved the most. He knew that I loved him with every thing I had and I know I miss that. I miss the goodmorning texts, I miss the random forehead kisses, I miss the chuckles he made when we talked.

Sure, I cried a few times, I hated myself for thinking he still wanted me. I still can't imagine why we're where were at now. How can that powerful feeling I felt, made me so weak?

If he ever reads this, I just want him to know I miss loving him.

I still do.

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Sep 9, 2012