We Met When We Were 11 . . .

I know now that people are lying when they say my generation is too young to know what love is about... because seriously, I fell in love when I was freaking ELEVEN and still consider it genuine, even 6 years after the fact. I thought something was wrong with me. I knew I didn't have a crush on him, and I didn't just want to be friends either. Until I considered that I might be in love I thought I was going insane.

We were friends for awhile... actually a long time. I wanted him as more than that, but I knew we were too young to last until we could legally marry. I had a "master plan" figured out in my head of us staying friends, getting him attracted to me, us dating when we were older and eventually getting married. But, I got impatient with him not getting attracted to me. He started talking to other girls more than me... thinner, prettier girls more than me. I had low self-esteem and was desperate not to loose him, and I choose to starve myself in the hope I would get his attention like those other girls. You might be wondering why I didn't tell him how I felt instead of going through such extreme measures to grab at his attention, but at the time it all seemed to make perfect sense to me. As long as I didn't have to cut to the chase with him and lay my feelings out for the world to see, I would try anything. I was scared crapless that he wouldn't have the same feeling for me.

It was when I started starving myself when he started ignoring me, and would take forever to speak to me when I spoke to him. Getting out of love with him and eating again was the only option I saw that wouldn't leave me completely broken in the end. I eventually did get over him and am fully recovered from everything. I learned that changing for anyone isn't worth it, if I could go back and just tell him and get my answer instead of putting myself through all that crap I would. Hopefully, someone cared enough to read this and knows the same thing.
pickledcookie pickledcookie
18-21, F
2 Responses Jul 26, 2010

Yea... I have been through a similar thing too. But I expressed it to her and she didn't respond positively.

Same here, I feel every word you said. The exact same thing happened to me, I was in love, he was my best friend, he changed into a buttface, I tried to change so he would like me, he blocked me out, he fell in love with my best friend, and he changed me. Also, I say heck to all those people who think teenagers dont know what love is. We are all human and we all know what we are feeling.