He Said He Loved Me Then Left Me....yet Still Says He Loves Me?

Thank you for this...it somewhat helps. This past week the man that I had been looking for all my life and that I found left me. He went back to his ex as he felt she fitted into his family.
I am indian and muslim, he was white and he felt his family would not accept me.
His excuse was that he envisaged a forward life full of obstacles and that he could not bear being with me but away from his family.
The irony in all this is he said so many things, he promised to never hurt me, he said he loved me and will always love me but he lacked the courage.
He was perfect, even now trying to find fault in him is hard. He romanced me, loved me for me. He never critisized me. I have come from that, I was always told I was ugly and fat and the rest.
He joked as he said he was my blue eyed boy, my prince.
He chased, I was reserved at first but the attention and care was irreristable.
I have been married for 7 years, I had not consumated my marriage....shocking hey. Then this man comes into my life and all is amazing.
He said he was not involved with his ex, turns out he still loved her after feeding me the lines of how he could not love her...
I cannot do anything...I was prepared to give up my entire world to be with him. I still am as I need to leave my husband and the shacles of this life.

I want to scream and shout not for him to come back but for this pain to go...the feeling of being ill that I allowed myself to fall so hard...I cherish the memories but I am trying to forget and it keeps coming back. Everytime I see another couple holding and kissing.

I want it gone, I want to wake up one morning and not think of him or want to call him.

He wanted to be friends, I don't know if I can do that. What's worse is he still has a book of mine that has sentimental value so how do I get it back?

I have tried this week to piece my life together to see how I can move on...its hard but I keep blaming myself, maybe I scared him off with being insecure, vunerable or perhaps when things started getting serious?

I wish I could see him now, see him without him seeing me, so I can witness if any at all pain he is going through that I am..

Funny, I have never lost myself ever, like this. I have lost 2 kgs in a week. i can't sleep and I can't remember when I last smiled or laughed?

Where to now? How do you pull through.
I have friends but they have all moved away so emailing them is the best I can do.
I want to sit and cry but that doesn't come as easily, I am just withdrawn.
Andiana Andiana
2 Responses Aug 2, 2010

Dear friend, just think about this: if a man chooses someone over you he is not worth crying over, no matter what the reason is. You need someone who values you so much that he could not possibly leave you. Your pain unfortunately can only subside in time since the love you feel for him is true. I can relate to you it has happened to me also, so I understand what you feel, but you will survive this and your true love will enter your life and change everything.<br />
All the best.<br />

One day when he is like 60 years old he'll remember how he gave up on true love for a common girl to fit into his family. I too was involved with a Turkish man and I am mulatto and he chose his family over me.. He won't call me or write. He lied to me and now I'm alone. also he was physically abusive so maybe not the same thing but he cheated on me. so this guy is not a good man to you if he left you then you were not what he wanted.