I Wish I Could Get Over It

I had a boyfriend a few years ago that I was so deep in love with.  It just always seemed like I was way more into the relationship than he was. He would tell me he loved me, but I never really felt it.  It was more like he was in love with himself.  We were each other's firsts and after the one time we were together, we never did it again (and we were together for 1 1/2 years).  It wasn't because I didn't want to. He always had an excuse.  He was tired.  He had something on his mind. Whatever.  It really hurt to have someone that you want so much not want you back.  I always wondered what the real reasons were behind it all.  I have had issues with sex ever since. 

 I don't obsess over it anymore but I still feel like I need closure.  I know I'll never get it and that bothers me. I haven't had a relationship since him and it has been a little over 2 years since we broke up.  I have hooked up with other guys, and I thought it would lead to something more, but they were just using me for sex.  Now I'm afraid to open up to anyone, but I don't want to be alone.  If anyone could give me advice, I would appreciate it.

I think that it would be most helpful to hear what someone thinks that doesn't know me.

justagirl21 justagirl21
22-25, F
5 Responses Oct 17, 2006

Go with your gut, ALWAYS. <br />
<br />
If something is missing, or feels off, get out early, men do it everyday, it's time more women walked away first. <br />
<br />
Forget this dude, forgive yourself, and be watchful, go with your gut every time, you won't fail yourself or fool yourself if you do this, women have intuition for a reason.

Go to ebay and buy....HES JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU...It will give you a better clue why guys do what they do. It's insightful and my help you from a defensive point of view. <br />
<br />
You deserve better... you deserve real love. don't just give it away. I think sometimes in an effort to get close to someone we as women think, if i just get the sex thing out of the way then we can move on and get closer. often to guys.... that means... OK bagged that one...NEXT. Hang out with a guy for a long while. If they are into you, REALLY, they wont mind the wait. Sex often just mucks things up. Like cloudy glasses, seems to bring out the stupid in us women. Set some time limit.... like not sex with ANY guy until _____ blank. Determine how long or at a minimum how many dates and stick to it. Wandering sex jerks aren't going to jump hoops. Guys with real interest in YOU will. NO one night stands...no matter how adorable they are or how drunk you are. Get the emotional connections you need through your friends, volunteering, etc. Put yourself in places to meet quality guys. Where might they be....? good question. make a list of things you like to do... places you think quality guys might be?... go there... be there... be bright, happy, inquisitive and eager to learn about someone and your Mr. right will come along.<br />
<br />
Good luck. You deserve more...make it for yourself. Get your selfesteem back and it will draw quality people to you. Focus on you now.... one day you'll be strong enough to give. Get that book.... there is another as well the female version.... it's something like "She's not that really into you anyway"... something like that. fun reads.... best...good luck

Have you ever been (unwittingly) on the receiving end of a love spell? Sucks. he should have released me from that spell a few years ago. He confused the hell out of my cat when he tried to change her name.

Please stop blaming yourself. Your past boyfriend had issues..not you. Your experience with him did not go as<br />
planned. Unfortunately sometimes in life things don't always go as we would like. I sense that you have a loving spirit inside you. Your life is ahead of you. You will meet<br />
many new male friends. Make your choices wisely. Be selective there are worst things in life. Many women stay in<br />
abusive relationships trapped. Move on seek counseling to help you seperate yourself from this experience. God loves you...talk to him..and listen.

not all actions or people are rational... but all people do have many parts to thier personality that they act through. there are no villains or saints. we are all party both. being a man, i know my reasons are never the same as a womans'.