I Loved Someone That Didn't Love Me
To Move On
Proof. You need proof that you are still worth it, that its not the end of the world if you can't have them.
You crave to have something fill that void that you created for them, but never took. You think anything will do, but only something that is as special as they are can ever mend it, but you get a temporary fix to make it easier to walk again.
Pain. Not so much as before, but it's still there. You begin to respect that part of your life for what it was.
Channeling. If you have felt this strongly for someone, think about how strongly you could feel about a passion that had rewards.
Your day to day tasks become less and less about them and more about you again. Although those quiet nights in bed as you drift into sleep you can still feel them in your heart.
There is no need to keep loving them or turn to hatred because all of the feelings were yours, never theirs, no matter how much you begged. The growing comes from within.
Patience. You are not going to find someone like that in your life perhaps for quite a long time. It's also unhealthy to jump from unavailable person to unavailable person. While you wait do something for you. You deserve it.
Awareness. Look for the signs that you love someone and ask yourself, "Is this going to work? Can I really expect this other person to feel these emotions as well?"
Acceptance. What is there not to accept in a situation like this?
But no matter what. You need to feel precious. That your love can't be thrown to the wayside just because the first or second or 50th love has not loved you back.
Epiloge by the Writer.
I sometimes think about the emotions I had during the height of my unrequited and its like I'm drowning again. The ground is lost beneath me and the world slips through my grasp.
But then I force myself to move forward. This is not better nor worse. It's just different.
I have purpose in my life now. I have pursued a career in music and have been doing well in that. The satisfaction I feel when my art is realized or when something I have wanted for myself comes true is as close to love as I have gotten since then. But I am in control. Too much control probably.
I want to love again.
There's an insane excitement that comes along with not being in control. You are in tune with the universe's currents that push and pull your soul leaving you breathless. The connection is so intense that it drives one to feel what I wrote 4 years ago.
The scars that remain can bleed from time to time but I have moved on. At first, I resorted to hatred and disdain. Whenever I succeeded at something in my life, I felt the urge to show my UL what he was missing. While that felt good, it was childish and now whenever I think about the whole situation I think of how I felt for UL, not actually my UL.
Love is what I'm in love with now, not my UL. Which brings about other troubles. I want to love someone, but I don't want to be hurt again.
Sometimes I don't care if I will get hurt again. The hurt makes me appreciate the times when it feels good. The hurt is so real. So present.
But I know that I'm not closed up forever because tears still fill my eyes and my breath quickens while I write this. I have never been so alive as when I was with my UL, but I couldn't live when I wasn't. And most of the time I wasn't. We eventually went our separate ways, which helped with the everyday pain. It wasn't being cut open constantly so it had time to heal, even though I don't think it will ever truly finish healing.
I am thankful for the feelings I had for my UL. Without them I would not have known what love is.
Proof. You need proof that you are still worth it, that its not the end of the world if you can't have them.
You crave to have something fill that void that you created for them, but never took. You think anything will do, but only something that is as special as they are can ever mend it, but you get a temporary fix to make it easier to walk again.
Pain. Not so much as before, but it's still there. You begin to respect that part of your life for what it was.
Channeling. If you have felt this strongly for someone, think about how strongly you could feel about a passion that had rewards.
Your day to day tasks become less and less about them and more about you again. Although those quiet nights in bed as you drift into sleep you can still feel them in your heart.
There is no need to keep loving them or turn to hatred because all of the feelings were yours, never theirs, no matter how much you begged. The growing comes from within.
Patience. You are not going to find someone like that in your life perhaps for quite a long time. It's also unhealthy to jump from unavailable person to unavailable person. While you wait do something for you. You deserve it.
Awareness. Look for the signs that you love someone and ask yourself, "Is this going to work? Can I really expect this other person to feel these emotions as well?"
Acceptance. What is there not to accept in a situation like this?
But no matter what. You need to feel precious. That your love can't be thrown to the wayside just because the first or second or 50th love has not loved you back.
Epiloge by the Writer.
I sometimes think about the emotions I had during the height of my unrequited and its like I'm drowning again. The ground is lost beneath me and the world slips through my grasp.
But then I force myself to move forward. This is not better nor worse. It's just different.
I have purpose in my life now. I have pursued a career in music and have been doing well in that. The satisfaction I feel when my art is realized or when something I have wanted for myself comes true is as close to love as I have gotten since then. But I am in control. Too much control probably.
I want to love again.
There's an insane excitement that comes along with not being in control. You are in tune with the universe's currents that push and pull your soul leaving you breathless. The connection is so intense that it drives one to feel what I wrote 4 years ago.
The scars that remain can bleed from time to time but I have moved on. At first, I resorted to hatred and disdain. Whenever I succeeded at something in my life, I felt the urge to show my UL what he was missing. While that felt good, it was childish and now whenever I think about the whole situation I think of how I felt for UL, not actually my UL.
Love is what I'm in love with now, not my UL. Which brings about other troubles. I want to love someone, but I don't want to be hurt again.
Sometimes I don't care if I will get hurt again. The hurt makes me appreciate the times when it feels good. The hurt is so real. So present.
But I know that I'm not closed up forever because tears still fill my eyes and my breath quickens while I write this. I have never been so alive as when I was with my UL, but I couldn't live when I wasn't. And most of the time I wasn't. We eventually went our separate ways, which helped with the everyday pain. It wasn't being cut open constantly so it had time to heal, even though I don't think it will ever truly finish healing.
I am thankful for the feelings I had for my UL. Without them I would not have known what love is.
By:
wycomper
Age:
22-25
,
Male
