I Loved Someone That Didn't Love Me
I just left a little social gathering today, and was told by his friend that he preferred this other girl to me....Its like having your heart ripped out or being punched in the stomach
It all started months ago, i met two guys through my housemate and i got on with them really well, i would go round their place and watch metal videos etc and it was such a laugh. One of the two guys i really started to like. He was tall, dark haired, fantastic sense of humour, polite and like me, socially awkward. I really started to like him but I never NEVER let my true feelings out, I'm very shy and have always been the jester i.e. i never take things seriously but underneath i'm crying for help and am so very alone. We got very close but it was purely platonic then we met another girl who was nice and he really like her as well, so one drunken night after countless shots of tequila, we had a menage a trois...
It was pretty good, but i like him so much and didn;t want her around but it was the only way of getting closer to him. And as it turns out he preferred her over me and got his other housemate to tell me this while he was sleeping with her in the other room.
Now i just want to die. I've never trusted anyone that much and what worst is I thought he was such a great person, but as it turns out he was like everyone else; you know when you love someone for who you think they are and then they suddenly change into this other different evil person. He almost took my virginity the previous day and had he done so, today would have been even worse. Apparently i missed my chance and should have went for it sooner but surely if he had liked me as much he would not have went for this other girl.
I feel humiliated and i feel like ****. I just want to die. I'm sitting here typing this crap because there is no-one else to tell. I sit in my room and i have to stifle my crying because i'm in a shared house and the walls are paper thin. I am never getting close to someone again, its too painful, my heart feels like its about to burst...
It all started months ago, i met two guys through my housemate and i got on with them really well, i would go round their place and watch metal videos etc and it was such a laugh. One of the two guys i really started to like. He was tall, dark haired, fantastic sense of humour, polite and like me, socially awkward. I really started to like him but I never NEVER let my true feelings out, I'm very shy and have always been the jester i.e. i never take things seriously but underneath i'm crying for help and am so very alone. We got very close but it was purely platonic then we met another girl who was nice and he really like her as well, so one drunken night after countless shots of tequila, we had a menage a trois...
It was pretty good, but i like him so much and didn;t want her around but it was the only way of getting closer to him. And as it turns out he preferred her over me and got his other housemate to tell me this while he was sleeping with her in the other room.
Now i just want to die. I've never trusted anyone that much and what worst is I thought he was such a great person, but as it turns out he was like everyone else; you know when you love someone for who you think they are and then they suddenly change into this other different evil person. He almost took my virginity the previous day and had he done so, today would have been even worse. Apparently i missed my chance and should have went for it sooner but surely if he had liked me as much he would not have went for this other girl.
I feel humiliated and i feel like ****. I just want to die. I'm sitting here typing this crap because there is no-one else to tell. I sit in my room and i have to stifle my crying because i'm in a shared house and the walls are paper thin. I am never getting close to someone again, its too painful, my heart feels like its about to burst...
By:
foofoo88
Age:
22-25
