I Lost Him

I feel used. And yet humans use eachother for many reasons like personal gain or to keep them occupied
but this was a purposeful use, that hurt like a stab wound.

Love is a scary game to play, deception is a terrifying face to see. If you havn't seen it, you really have no clue. I came out of hiding to try and find what I have been craving and it was beautiful, and it lifted my spirits. My heart finally rested because it was beating alongside another, and I felt alive. For once I felt alive and beautiful. I felt like what I had seen in my self all these years was finally being noticed and appreciated, and cherished like I had dreamed. I had dreamed that this day would come, I pictured it in my sleep, I breathed it everywhere I walked, I imagined it in every form possible, with the help of movies and love songs to start the picture. I had felt hopeless more times than I can count because at every corner or turning point it just never came, and my glimering hope was soon burning out. I was bitter and angry, hurt and bruised. My heart had shields around it because rejection from someone you cared about was deadly to the soul, and I had no idea how to cure it. But then, he came along and surronded me with love. Love I had never knew could happen to me. It rested my soul, finally I felt some peace in my heart amongst the chaos. But then he ran over me like a car, over and over again. The pain is a different sort of pain and it never heals. I have been decieved. And my heartaches, I just want it to go away. Yes I lived and I loved but then I cried and I lost. He cheated. He cheated. He cheated. He's been seeing his ex girlfriend and I was just there to pass the time. I should have known he loved her when he said he thought about her time to time, I should have took it as a big red sign, I was just to eager to find love, I was SO painfully lonely for SO long. But there he was with her, and his family. Like how he wanted it to be, I was the new love but she was the old, and real one.

And yet again I fade into the darkness of someones life.
theConfused theConfused
18-21, F
1 Response Apr 30, 2011

for God has the reason and yet sometimes its hard to understand ...<br />
i know its not easy to you to move on and get rid about your past lovelife, but also dont forget that theirs always a reason why God allow it to happen.<br />
dont forget that you have a friends , a family, who you can lean on. be dependent and learn to accept...<br />
...Life is acceptance...