Written on May 1st, 2011
My heart leaps every time my phone buzzes with a call, or a text message, it's hardly ever him though. And when it is, It never says what I want it to say. I've been in love with my best friend for about 2-3 years now, I never saw it before but his eyes sparkle in the light and draw me in like a magpie. I wish someone had warned me about love and what it can do to you, before everything was simple nothing was amazingly special, but now the days I spend by his side, mean the world to me. I got home one day a few months ago and realised that I couldn't live with knowing he didn't feel the same way, and that he never would. After a few drinks, I told him, thinking that this would be the best thing to do, I told him I loved him, That I couldn't live without him by my side, every second I spend with him makes my heart beat a little faster. He flipped out, told me he didn't want me like that, he never would, I was his best friend, like his sister. No-one has been able to make me laugh since. Of course he now acts like nothing ever happened, but of course I remember it all. It all just seems pointless and stupid to laugh in love now, I'll walk past couples in the streets of london and frown, nothing can replace the feeling of happiness and the feeling of pure joy and love I had when we waltzed clumsily down the roads and streets. A happy ending wont be possible this time sadly, because the pain still stays, nothing can fill the empty space in my heart that I will always have.