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Hard Being The Only One In A Relationship

Four years ago I was involved in what I now understand to be a bad, one-sided relationship. I was with a man with whom I fell in love- even when I should have known better than to have. We started as more of a "friends with benefits" type relationship but we began to rely on each other emotionally so much that, for my part, it felt like we had moved into a real relationship. The funny things is, we very rarely went out on dates and mostly just talked on the phone when we weren't meeting up to get together physically. These things should have been a warning sign but I ignored them.

All of this carried on for a year and I got more and more unhappy. I guess at some point that unhappiness turned into a depression so noticeable that my co-workers and family noticed and became deeply concerned for me. I, however, had no idea how depressed I had become. I'm not prone to that kind of behavior and it wasn't until long after the relationship had ended that I could look back at it objectively and understand how bad things had gotten.

Needless to say, my unhappiness led to bitterness toward this man. Even before our relationship ended due to him cheating, I had begun to hate him for drawing me in physically and emotionally but not caring enough to give our relationship a real chance. The truth is that he was broken in many ways; his inability to commit was simply one of those ways. In his own way, he did love me; just not enough to push him past his fears. If I had accepted this earlier I might not have gotten hurt as bad as I did, but love is often blind, deaf and dumb.

If you feel like you're the only person in your relationship, then my advice is to get out. It's not worth sticking around and, trust me, he or she won't "change" their minds and decide to love you all of a sudden. Sometimes things just don't work out, no matter how much we wish them to.

The good news is that once you have moved on, your life will improve. It might take time to heal your heart, but you will come out stronger and wiser. 2 1/2 years after my disasterous relationship, I met a man who gave me the kind of love and commitment I deserved. Five months later we married and I consider myself VERY lucky in love. Maybe you have to look at each relationship you enter as a learning experience and a chance to grow. If you're not happy though, don't try to force it; it will just make you more miserable. I believe there is someone out there for all of us. They might not be easy to find and there might be a few false starts, but you'll know when the relationship is right and when both of you are fully committed and in love.
ladyshoes ladyshoes 26-30, F 1 Response May 24, 2011

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Enjoyed that story, and glad it worked out for you in your new relationship ladyshoes.