It Was Unconventional

It was the sound of her voice, from the first syllable she uttered, I was entranced.  Hypnotized.  I Knew it was preposterous, then I merely Thought it was preposterous, and before long I was falling for someone I knew I could never have.  It's funny how our minds are capable of such things.  I knew it was wrong, on so many levels, and a part of me didn't even want it at all.  It was a traditional unrequited love.  I idolized the good aspects of her and ignored the negative.  Well, I saw no negative at all, really.  Our minds block that out, naturally.  Though I knew it wasn't right, there was no stopping these forces.  I had no idea what I would do with her even if I got her, that is why I knew this was preposterous.  I longed for friendship, above all else, but I scared her away through my admiration.  We think we hide it from them, but when you feel this strongly about someone there is no way that they won't catch on eventually.  So, I lost her and I rest uneasily knowing the unlikeliness of our eyes ever meeting again.
QuietlyUnspoken QuietlyUnspoken
22-25, F
4 Responses Nov 5, 2006

I enjoyed reading this, nice writing, I felt your awe and your wonder. Us humans enjoy playing with our hearts and stretching our emotional limits, don't we? Good Luck and thanks for sharing.

Oh the painful agony of this type of romance. I have been through it my friend. I am currently going through a simular tract once again, and this time I am getting out before it gets any worse. This girl is young and vigorous and full of spirit and energy that it attracts other males instantly. If you were to see her you would say, "What does she have that's so hot?" Seriously, she isn't a girlie girl, she is more of a tom boy...in t-shirts and sneakers, plain and simple but with an attitude May West would roll in her grave over. It's been strange to say the least and when I am out with her I want to hold her but can't since she is carefree and friendly with every guy in the place. I cringe when I see her talk to a new "bigger" guy tatooed and muscles with bad beer breath as she introduces him to me "her friend" She even gives him her number in front of me... I can't be treated this way and I will NOT. I can't understand if it's that whole can't have this mentallity that is doing it... because she is driving me nuts. So I am getting out.. No more hanging with her any more.

I have felt this way before, I soon realized that everything we go through makes us , well us. Be strong love will hit you hard and perfectly.

I think if you did not have the friendship first, then is couldn't really be love. Attraction on physical (or audible) cues only can't have any depth. She simply seemed to have something that could fill a void.<br />
I don't mean to shoot you down here, but I had a recent experience "falling for" a good friend during a rough time for me. But I knew it was not mutual and I did a lot of research into myself. What came out was that she was filling a void that I had at the time. In other words, I loved the idea of her... not really her, per say. Is that more accurate for your situation?<br />
I said luckily because our friendship survived this situation. We never discussed it, but she's smart - I think she knew. And as I have talked to her about coming to terms with my needs at that time, I think she knows that I was able to put my feelings in their place.<br />
Anyway, there is a lot more to this story (the circumstances I allude to are major life events) what I'm trying to say is look long and hard at yourself. At your "voids". It may not be fun (I almost guarantee it won't be), but when you come out the other side you will never regret knowing yourself better.