He Changed Me

me too.  I loved a boy when i was eighteen.  He was beautiful and mysterious and I couldn't stop thinking about him.  Well, one night we hooked up and i felt so fulfilled like finally, you know.  Then as it turned out it was only a hook-up.  I kinda died a little.  I know that sounds really dramatic, but it is true.  I really loved him so much.  So we hooked up at a party every now and again.  I shouldn't have done it, but I figured I will just take what I can get.  Ever since then, I keep people at a distance so that I don't get hurt again.  Nobody gets to me.  Some people in my life have done some pretty horrible things, but now it is just like none of it phases me.  Some people wonder how I can be so nonchalant about things, but I tell them that if you expect the worse from everyone then the only time you are surprised is when they do something good.
cherryblossom cherryblossom
26-30, F
15 Responses Feb 23, 2007

I agree with LadyJ85<br />
Keep yourself for the right one. Don't throw your heart away

cherry,<br />
<br />
The saddest part of this to me is how you've built-up your defenses . . . and so early in life/ relationships too. There is an old saying . . . accentuate the positive. Your attitude determines your altitude. If you expect, and seek the lowest common behavior, . . . that's all you'll deal with . . . all you'll encounter. You need to stretch a little, and look for, and expect the best in people, not the worst.<br />
<br />
I think you could appreciate some good insight on men by an absolutely incredible former feminist, now advocate for men. Her name is Alison Armstrong, and she has such insights into male and female behavior that I think you will truly enjoy discovering what she's discovered. Google her name, and read/ listen to anything you can find about her work and workshops.<br />
<br />
It will do you so much better in life when you strive for the highest, best, most positive in your fellow humans, particularly, members of the male sector of society.<br />
<br />
Respectfully,<br />
Dooz40

its funny that you chose that screen name,i know how you feel it it does suck but maybe you just haven't bloomed yet.im sure there's somone that will make the sakura drop

It happens to almost everyone at some point. Most everyone can find hapiness with another if they make an effort, and give it time. You sound as though there is no hope. Think of what you have to offer. If you loved before, you can love again. Think of all the good there is with other people, and with the world. Best of luck.

If u keep bein this way u will probably end up shuttin out people dat realii did care. i love people alot 2 but i love myself more. dont giv ur all 2 a person whose not givin there all bak. take ur time in a relationship and hold on 2 wats sacred 2 u

Aches4him, love your story, love the moral. <br />
cherryblossom, really, seriously i've also had the opertunity to veiw others mistakes. <br />
sex = doesnt equel relationship<br />
I made my bf wait 10months before we had sex. <br />
At the end of it we got to learn our bodies better and he completely respected me for my decision (he was/is my first).<br />
Bring on two years we are still together and as close as ever.<br />
Sure guys want sex, hell even you want sex but the point is: why should we cut our selves short and compromise with a quick fling when given time you can give you and your man a brighter future. <br />
It does no wrong to have hime running around a bit longer anyways :P work him up into a sweat over it ;)

don't allow one person to ruin ur whole life coz that what u are currently doind,u don't wanna look back and regret the day's u spent playing untouchable,adimit that u were hurt and continue living a life u will not regret later.

BTW...how did he hurt you so badly? And You say you hooked up more than once...I don't understand...

you are cheating yourself out of a fulfilling sex life by holding back...I think if you reallly have feelings for someone you have to give it up

wow i feel like i'm right where you were two years ago. we don't hook up at parties, but we started just hooking up because i'd rather have that than nothing. i'm so nonchalant about friends screwing me over people think i don't even have a soul. i do, i just don't have the strength to care anymore.

hisgirlat3: I agree! I feel the exact same way... about the "taking what you can get"

the idea, "take what I can get"...I'm there right now. When I hear myself saying it, I think that's nuts! That isn't the way relationships work: it's either all in or not. I'm trying to learn that and move on. Hopefully you will find the strength to do the same thing. It's not dramatic thinking that a part of you died - you loved him. Loving someone, no matter the outcome, is a wonderful feeling, right? Let us both remember that feeling and let it guide us to new loves.

I think u should leave thinking about him and just beahve like u were before, and do not make mistake

I'm just now digging myself out of a deep hole. Depression is not nice and it can get very big. Be careful, ok?

I agree.. Wish you all the happiness, success and love in the world, We all deserve that.