A Memoir of Love, Life, and Its Agony Pt. 1

Well I just finished reading a very nice story by CandyAppleRed called “I Loved Someone That Didn't Love Me." I could very much relate to the first part of the story but as I read on, I was only more depressed. I know I should be happy for this girl who I have never met and have no idea where she lives but I just couldn’t. You see I was really hoping to read a story that I could relate to. You know the classic story boy likes girl, girl has a boyfriend, girl becomes friends with boy, girl breaks up with boyfriend, boy thinks he has a chance with girl, girl meets other boy, and girl thinks of boy as a friend. Well that’s probably not what you were thinking of as the classic story; but lets face it for many this is realty. In order to understand my scenario you have to know my story. This is a story about a boy who likes this girl and can’t seem to get over her. It was the beginning of my sophomore year when I met her. I was in journalism class, the class was a combination of journalism I and II students. I was in journalism II and she was in journalism I. I had just had one of the best summers of my life I had met some awesome people who I will never forget. My summer consisted of late night “party’s” in dorm rooms with a few of my other friends (We were away at a college prep summer camp). My friends would drink alcohol, while I because of my religious beliefs would drink water or PowerAde, and we would stay up late into the night and often times talking about girls, life, people, and cracked jokes. I know it may seem lame but we really had good times and got to know each other very well. While away at this camp I met a girl whom we will call “Celli.” She was gorgeous at least to me and a few other guys. Celli was not your typical girl she was modest, smart, funny, out going, nice, and she was your girl next-door type. I guess in a way I let myself fall for Celli. Things were going pretty well and her brother had even asked me when I was going to ask his sister Celli out officially. Well I had never really had a girlfriend and I had hoped Celli would be my first. Due to reasons I cannot really seem to remember we had a sort of falling out on the last night. Apparently some one had said that I said something and I don’t know exactly what. Well on the last night of camp I remember sitting outside on the balcony of our room talking to my two good friends whom we call “Jay” and “Clay” it was about 4:30 a.m. and we had just got back to our dorm. I was so upset to the point that I was nauseous. I remember my friend Clay saying “What happened you had a good chance with the greatest girl in the program?” All I could say was “I don’t know what did I do?” Well with our bags packed we all headed home. I was sad but its not like I wouldn’t see Celli, or my friends again. Our camp was located in the University of our hometown and the program is a 4 yearlong program that requires us to go the University and attend classes together every other Saturday. Well needless to say I went home a little broken hearted. Well let’s fast-forward to August I started my sophomore year with confidence, and new lifelong friendships, and a never-ending surplus of stories of late night adventures. I was also in great shape and I had a new style. I went to Journalism excited because I would see a few of my very good friends whom I had missed and rarely saw over the summer. I got to class with my new cocky attitude and acted like I owned the class while still maintaining my humility. The teacher had given everyone assigned seats I sat next to my good friend whom we will call “Brenda.” I had to fill out a note card with my schedule on it and I had lost my pencil and the teacher told me to borrow one from somebody to quickly fill it out. I shouted across the room if anyone had a pencil I could use and that’s when she turned around. She was sitting right in front of me and lent me her pencil as I jot down my schedule I made small talk with this girl whom we will call “Aliza.” Brenda and I ended up talking to her and she walked with us to class. Over the next few days I would walk her to her math class and we would casually flirt. I had no idea she had a boyfriend and I was so into her. In just a few days I had got over Celli. I called all my friends to tell them I had got over Celli and met the perfect girl. Well I have written enough for now I will continue this memoir in other blog. The point it is that I am now in the second semester of my Junior year and have still not gotten over this girl and I am spending a lot of time with her and she seems to not be interested but every now and then when I am about to throw in the towel and give up she does something that makes me continue to like her.      
lonelyparamour lonelyparamour
18-21, M
13 Responses Mar 3, 2007

Never base your happiness on someone elses' feelings

Stuff happens. When you are young you believe you will never get beyond it. You will. The only problem is you think it can never happen again. It does.

I did the same. Now I have found out he wanted me just to take care of his grandchildren. I'm attached to the kids but I despise him. Be careful

I did the same. Now I have found out he wanted me just to take care of his grandchildren. I'm attached to the kids but I despise him. Be careful

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Do you believe in hitch doctors?<br />
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Go on www.hitch365.co.uk and Meet the Hitch Doctor,<br />
<br />
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Love is his job and he'll get you the person of your dreams in just a few easy dates.<br />
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Hitch, will give you all the help you need to find the perfect person quickly !

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I have been married for 11 years to a man who I know does not love me the reason I know is because of how he treats me. We have been together a total of 13 years when we first got together everything was really wonderful he was a very great guy. He treated me like I was special and really ment something to him and then slowly everything started to change he started to cruse me and we would get in to physical fights but I just not the type of woman you can beat up on and he found that out so he stop that, but the real bad name calling has gotten worse. I live in that my whole life and I know that when you truly love someone that you treat them with dignety and respect not humilate and put them down. You must always respect yourself and remember that you are worth loving and that there is someone out there that will love you for you and will love you for the rest of your life if that is what you are looking for. I don't know your heart or how you feel about God but if you will ask him to he will send you the right girl to you all you have to do is to wait.

u idiot. will you relax. this is not complicated. you like to chase skirts DUHHHHHH. what warm blooded man in his twenties doesn't. <br />
suggestion. if you really want something serious. leave them all alone for 3 months. spend some time with YOU and you family if you like them and get to know yourself again. you're evolving you goof. change happens even to you. go to a monstary for a weekend get away. I AM NOT RELIGIOUS. but respect those who are and find some of the things they do very.......enligtening.

It hurts so so so much I can hardly get out of bed..I want spring to come,maybe I will meet someone..someday..I dont ever look..too afraid

Celli or Aliza are you now not over?

This is very common,it happens to a good deal of us. I enjoyed your story, I even visualizes it for a second. I'm not the best of counselors' but I have lived a little and seen a lot. I could only say that a step or two back will help you, not only see the whole panorama, but give you a true and final answer, to that question you seek an answer to...."Does she love me?". The closer you get to her with out romancing the stone, the more she will be geared into seeing you as a friend and only a friend. If more is what you want, you need to act now.It is very hard for us woman to see a man as a friend and only a friend, but once we have reached that point and numbed are heart, and mind to any romantic feelings towards that person, well honey, at that point; it's next to impossible to gear it back into another state. I hope what I'm saying makes sense, in a nutshell, step back, let her miss, you, when you come back, come back with a red rose in your hand, set a president right from the start, make sure she is FULLY aware that you are coming back for her heart. I think you have a chance. Good luck, sweet Romeo.

enjoy enjoy enjoy enjoy.<br />
you're too young to not just enjoy.<br />
i was married 18 years - but met him when i was 17. it was a total of 30 years together... and i wish i had enjoyed my life and what i had right in front of me and not worried about what was going to happen next. <br />
so just enjoy the conversations, the smells, the things you do, and keep you mind open to the possibility that your love is about to be the next person you meet. <br />
you'll know and she will know- but don't ever! ever! ever! think that it's not going to be work because love and relationships are work- sometimes good rewards sometimes not so. just don't expect fireworks and then you won't be disappointed. <br />
this message probably sounds cliche - but it's my life. <br />
I lost myself waiting for him and he didn't really care. 18 years of my life and two children. take care of yourself and never expect the person you meet- your love- is not going to be the very same person that can take you down when you let your guard down.<br />
ouch! silly me.