Don't Waste Your Heart On Someone Who Can't/won't/doesn't Love You

If someone loves you....really loves will know it.

I spent 10 years....a DECADE trying to gain the love of someone who always held it just out of reach...if only I would....if only I did this....if only I did that....then he would want me.

And, yes, at times he liked me and yes, at times he loved me the way you do a friend...the way you do someone who has been there for you. But, romantic love.

Never in the cards. He couldn't....I think more then wouldn't. But, in the end, it didn't matter.

You will never earn love from someone who doesn't reciprocate. Don't waste your time. Let them go...say good riddance. Remember, as long as you vest your energy into a relationship with someone who doesn't return your feelings, you are preventing REAL love from coming into your life.

I am now with a man who loves me because I finally let that go.
rosedl rosedl
41-45, F
7 Responses Mar 5, 2012

Very well said! Especially the part about preventing real love from entering your life by hanging on to unrequited love. Even though I know this intellectually, my heart is not cooperating. I hope to one day be able to say "enough is enough" and let go.

Agreed, save yourself the stress and prolonged heartbreak!

Thanks for your posting. We need the courage you have to admit and accept that he does not love me, the courage to let go and walk away. We need a real closure to walk away. The problem with men who can't love, don't love, and won't love is they like to string you along to make sure that you are always there for them.

Funny I was just sitting here thinking about my ex and why he didnt love me or want me anymore. Why I wasn't good enough, what happened..etc Then I saw your post, thanks for reminding me you cant force it, if they don't feel it, let it go. I'm back to reality and gonna try my best to not look at his Facebook anymore;) lol

It is especially hard when they keep dangling out possibility of change...if you would/could only meet their next expectation....jump through the next hoop. It is controlling, it is unfair, it is mean. Finally, after jumping through countless hoops and never having it change, I got it through my thick skull that this man was just putting me off indefinitely. He had problems with intimacy, and couldn't participate in a mutually loving relationship. I was so damn co-dependent and lacking in self esteem, I bought into the game...the lie. I finally snapped. Broke my heart at first, but soon I realized that I was alone anyway...and when that dawned on me, my fear started to evaporate. Now, I am with the exact opposite of my ex....a loving, accepting, sweet, wonderful guy who reciprocates my emotions. I tell you, once you cross to the other side and find someone capable of sharing real love, you wonder how you could live so insane for so long....

thanx 4 ds. i nidid 2hear ds..althu its hard letng go

omg this is exactly what i needed to here thank you so much

Whew...this really hit home with me. Gives me a lot to ponder. Very good advice. Glad to see it worked out for you.:)

Good luck to you! My ex just couldn't love me in a romantic way, but it didn't mean I couldn't have romantic love in my life. I just couldn't have it with him. Now, I am with a man who does love me in that way and I see the difference so clearly. It is worth the loss and pain to give yourself a chance for real love.

Yes, totally agree. We should love ourselves enough to give ourselves this chance. Just a question, have you ever felt stupid to have loved him and hoped that he would love you back? I ask this question because I feel very stupid about myself confessing to him my love, and of course he did not reciprocate but asked me if it was real! I felt like an absolute fool. It is horrible to feel stupid and to have thoughts that he is into someone probably better than you are.

Just because someone is interested in someone else instead of you, it does not make that person "better then you are"! I felt like a fool at times and I blamed myself once upon a long time ago, no more. It just wasn't there. Now I have it with someone else.