I Dont Know Why.

I have strong feelings for someone whom i know i could never be with. Honestly i dont know if it is love or lust. Me and her had a thing a few years ago. We never went to far in our relachionship which im kinda glad for because i think it would just eat me up more inside. But i had to leave for a while after we had our little thing, and i would come up every summer and see her. She told me she truly loved me but a few weeks later she told me she was thinking about someone else when she said that. This was also a few years ago. Ive brought that up once this year and she told me she was confused which i can honestly say i belive her. Well here recently she asked if i still felt that there was anything inbetween us and even tho i know i have strong feelings for her i told her know. She asked me that twise and i lied to her both times. She was happy in the relachionship she was in at the time and i didnt want to introuder on her or her partner. Well know she is out of the relachionship and sometimes i really want to tell her how i feel. But i dont want her to think that im just saying all of that just to get in her paints. Thats not the kind of person i am and i will never be that person. But there is also something else that holds me back from telling her how i feel. She is my step sister now. When we had our little relachionship our parents were talking, but sence thing they have marryed. I think about her from sun rise to sun set everyday of the week and its starting to drive me crazy. I personaly belive that everything that we go though in live is for a reason. That God wants us to learn something for that esperience. But i ask myself every morning when i get up why do i have such strong feeling for someone who i could never be with. I dont no what i can learn from this and even tho i dont think i will learn from this expernence i still trust God and will always live my life the way i think he sees suitable.
takeawildguess takeawildguess
18-21, M
2 Responses Mar 27, 2007

Tell her how you feel! You aren't blood-related, so there is no harm in that. You are both single now. Tell her! Sounds like she had feelings for you two since she asked you twice. Don't miss this opportunity, lucky!

Would it make you feel better that regardless of your, sex or race, there are people out there who share the pain of forbidden love? I don't know what is God's plan but i know that when i see the one i love one is happy, that would sort of console me. If you can, don't bottled up your feelings, share with someone who you can trust. A secret or problem is halfed with you share. There's lots of possibilities for you, so don't give up. Be happy!