Waste of My Time

I fell in love with my best friend. It just happened one day. We had originally lived close together and were just friends, we messed around and teased each other. We were just normal friends. Then she moved about an hour away, and we saw less of each other but kept in touch. I found her popping up in my daily thoughts but I dismissed it for just a friendly longing.
    Then I moved across the country from the west coast to the ease coast. When I got there I kept in good touch and we talked and all that. I begin to think about her more and more and I realized that I was falling for her. I tried to stop it and held off it off for as long as I could. I just dismissed it as a foolish crush that couldn’t go anywhere because the distance.
    This went on for two years and I suppressed it and we stayed close friends. Just recently we were chatting online and she asked me about love. This made me twitch because I knew she wouldn’t ask unless she had something to tell. So when I asked her about love she said she was. She told me all about the guy she likes and I felt jealous and hurt. I knew I should have been happy for her but it hurt me. And I couldn’t help but feel happy when she told me they couldn’t go out anyway.
    Since that time I’ve been fighting with myself. I’ve finally accepted I’m in love with her and want nothing more than to tell her but I can’t. I feel like this whole thing is an exercise in futility because we live so far away from each other and only see each other personally maybe once a year. And I know that I’m going to Japan at the end of this July and it tears me up inside with the constant arguing with myself about what to do.
Rememdium Rememdium
18-21, M
1 Response Apr 7, 2007

From a woman's prospective, I would love to know that my best friend fell in love with me. Even if she doesn't respond to it initially, give it time. If you guys are best friends that means she emotionally invested. Women are generally driven by emotion. Tell her and give it some time to simmer. If she is truly your friend, but doesn't want to pursue something, she still won't let it change the relationship you already have.