I Feel Like I Was Played.

I met this girl back in High School.  I met her my junior year through my friend; she was his boyfriend.  At the time I didn't think anything of it, and we talked off and on again but nothing happened.

Flash forward two years.

We started talking again because I just called her on a whim for honestly no reason.  She was still dating my friend, who at this point had become a very insecure, possessive individual that had been doing drugs for the last two years.  We'd talk and try to hang out, but he'd always find a way to meddle and cast his disapproval on our friendship.  Still, we'd talk a lot whether it be on the phone or over instant messaging, and as I got to know this person better and more and more, I started to develop feelings for her.  By this point, we were comfortable enough in our friendship that I just flat out told her how I felt.

By the time I told her this though, she was in the process of leaving for college within the next couple weeks and she was still technically with her boyfriend.  We talked about it though and decided that due to the distance she would be for the next few months, it would be best not to approach the subject any further.  What we did discuss gave me some hope though as it seemed to me that she was implying that, were her current circumstances different, she'd be more than interested in being in a relationship with me. 

While she was up in college, we would still talk and I would call her.  She would tell me about how her boyfriend was driving her crazy because he would call her and want to know every last detail of what she was doing.  Finally, she broke up with him out of frustration.  I'll admit that I was a bit elated upon hearing this knowledge.  As the weeks progressed, we would talk more and more frequently just about our days and whatever.  Really really bonding, you know?  She was my best friend, and I think that's why I fell in love with her.  It seemed to me like she was falling for me as well, based on the subject matter of our conversations and statements she made regarding her and myself.

Anyway, we both had a three-day weekend coming up, so I suggested that I fly up to visit her at school because it had been a couple months since I'd seen her and it would be a good chance to spend some time alone with her and find out more about just where we were going in our relationship.

The flight went off without a hitch.  Everything went smoothly and I got dropped off at her dorm.  There was lots of hugging and laughing and all that good stuff when you finally see someone that you haven't seen in a while.  We got a bite to eat and all she could talk about was just how excited she was that I was there.  I was a bit embarrassed actually, I didn't think I was THAT big of a deal...

Anyway...this is where things get sour.

The next day, we were both hanging out.  We were in her room just talking about whatever when she got quiet for some reason.  Then, just out of the blue, she says this:

"I don't see us being in a relationship.  Ever."

I was a bit taken aback.  This literally came out of nowhere and ran contrary to pretty much everything we'd talked about.  I mean, she acted really infatuated towards me and we'd talked about being in a relationship before.  I had no idea where this was coming from.  Later, when I talked to her about it, she told me "I just got really strong feelings surge up when I thought about it and it felt like it was telling me that we'll never be in a relationship.  I don't see it happening.  I'm sorry."  She then went on to say, "I don't want anything back home keeping me from getting the full college experience.  I don't want a long-distance relationship preventing me from meeting new people and trying new things."

I was pretty crushed.  I spent the remainder of the day in some sort of emotional limbo and when I left the next day, I was the most depressed I've ever been in my entire life.  Everything we'd talked about and shared and confessed led me to believe that she was interested and that our feelings were mutual.  And then she laid that on me and all of a sudden it feels like I want nothing to do with her anymore.  I felt betrayed honestly.  It felt like she'd intended this from the beginning and was leading me on to see how far it would go, and as soon as she saw that I spent $200 dollars of my own money to see her, she'd realized that I was in too deep?  That she had lead me too far and that it was her duty to set me straight before I get even more hurt?  I don't even know anymore.

Anyway, I recently found out that she just got into a relationship with someone she goes to school with.  I met him while I was up there.  Cool kid I guess.  But now I'm even more depressed because when we talked recently, she said that when she comes back home she'd spend time with me and see if her old feelings resurface because she thought that maybe being at school is what gave her those other feelings.  Then she's got a new boyfriend and I'm like, "What the hell?!"

...I'm not even sure if any of this is coherent, but basically, after everything we'd discussed and shared, for it to end up like this just makes me feel like I wasted my time and was essentially played for a fool.  I can't help but wonder if she intended to have no romantic involvement with me from the getgo.  I have no idea what's going to happen between us now, or if I'm even going to bother being her friend anymore.

Anyway, that's my story.  If you want to share or comment, feel free.

Robert Robert
18-21, M
6 Responses Dec 5, 2006

Well i must say that your story touched me in way that i can feel the tiers coming to y eyes ,i can clearly identify myself with you and must say that i passed by something like that and i know it really hurts ,but i must say and just say that you should forget her completely, i think it hurts less.

Well i must say that your story touched me in way that i can feel the tiers coming to y eyes ,i can clearly identify myself with you and must say that i passed by something like that and i know it really hurts ,but i must say and just say that you should forget her completely, i think it hurts less.

shes confused, she has talked about being with u yes? she just doesnt want a long distace relationship trust me there HARD, very emotional and u have to really love some one in order for it to work otherwise it wont last. she wants something thats more stable, some or rather some one who is closer. talking on the phone is nice and it does help you to be more connected to that person, but it cant replace that physical need for a lover. y dont u just go to the same college as she is at? that would rly help your chances with her.

Dont you ever EVER let what happened stop you from being with someone else.... what i mean is ... Dont you EVER E V E R take what she did as something that other women would do. <br />
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When people are just not into you .. they are just not into you.<br />
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And it hurts .. It hurts so bad .. your throat hurts and you just function ... you do what you do .. and it hurts.<br />
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I am sorry for your love lost. But somewhere out there .. someone will love everything you do .. every thing you want to do and want you so bad they will bust a gut just to see you.<br />
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never give up.

Sorry about what happened to you! Sometimes friendly feelings and love can mess up...I totally understand you, 'cause something like this happened to me as well and I know it can be very confusing and disappointing in a matter. Just carry on with your life and try to forget it if you can...it works for me

She sounds like a pla<x>yer. Like she can't commit to anyone and thinks very highly of herself. You're young. There are lots of girls out there. Forget about this one and keep on looking. <br />
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I'm sorry she hurt you, but she isn't worth the pain and confusion you feel. Don't waste anymore time on her.