There's More Fish In The Sea.

I loved someone who didn't love me. And how could I have blamed her? At the time I was a chubby, desperate, needy little chump who wouldn't know what to do with a woman, even if I could get one. I wasn't ready for a relationship. She made that plain.
We'll call her S. I thought she was spectacular. Her long, golden hair, her pert lips, her big... you know the drill. And I thought she was a fantastic girl (How wrong I was! Dun-Dun-Duunnnn!)*
This S was going out with someone else at the time, and me and her had been close friends for nigh on 3 years.
Then she threw me a stick, when things with her boyfriend were going bad. A little flirting, making it seem like she liked me, and wanted me to be her new guy.
All of a sudden I was falling into the bottomless hole of infatuation. Smitten, shot with the arrow of LUV (Or obsession)
And one thing I've never been is a coward, so I asked her out almost straight away. And what do you know?
"I'm sorry, let's Just be Friends."
What happened?
"Oh, don't do this to me! I love you!"
Wind forward a few years.
I'm in a bar. I see two girls. Without thinking, I go in and talk to them. I've had quite a bit to drink already. I'm feeling good about myself (Which I usually do) I order a whisky (Which will later erupt from me as vomit) and later end up sleeping with the cutest out of the two.
How could they not love me? I'm fit, confident, and I don't need a woman to complete my life (Because I'm a busy guy, busy with my own stuff.)
How did this happen? How did I turn into a confident, fit guy?
It was all because that girl who I loved, and didn't return the feelings, rejected me. For a while I was a mess. I sat in my room crying, wrote countless poems, love letters (Which I thankfully didn't send.) And begged her to give me a chance. I was low, I lost my self-esteem.
After wallowing in my misery for a while, I decided to pick myself up. To learn about respecting yourself, to value your own opinion most, and highest of all. About not letting people use you as a doormat.
Now I'm the man people lean on, the one people ask advice of. I'm the man who, if you mess with me, will say goodbye and mean it, no matter who you are.
Pull yourselves up guys and girls. Maybe it wasn't meant to happen (It wasn't with me and S, and I'm glad it didn't, because I wouldn't have met A, J or V!)

*Just to let you all know, I was never angry at S for rejecting me, because every girl and guy has a right to say no or yes, but she really did treat me like a doormat after saying "Let's just be friends" Hence why I said I was wrong about her being nice.
I've since forgiven her for all of it. (Which doesn't mean I talk to her, because I haven't spoken to her since I told her to go to hell last year, and have no plans to ever do so) But life's short, repressed hatred makes it shorter.
26-30, M
3 Responses Jun 26, 2012

Good bye and good riddance to all takers

That's great to see how things turned around for you. I wish I knew how to pick myself up and get some of that confidence. All I know is rejection from men, the last one that rejected me hid a pregnant girlfriend from me the whole time :-/

Wow. yup