How Do I Deal?

Eight years ago, I was a freshman in college and I met this wonderful guy who, my classmates then say, also liked me. He's a quiet guy, not the typical bad boy type. He's tall and handsome and he has this smile that melted my heart. He knows how to respect other people and knows how to treat a woman. With that, we became in one circle of friends, him, St, K, M, A, J, S and me and well, I instantly fell in love with him. A few months later, after the first month, I found out that he already had a girlfriend, and she was one of our group friends. They announced it to us as if he didn't know how I felt about him. It seemed that he was courting him for quite some time now. At that time, I was so crushed but I had to pretend that it didn't affect me at all, because after all, we are friends.
I couldn't do anything the whole semester but bare and accept the fact that the guy who I thought loved me, is dating my friend. The second semester, he and the girl shifted to another course. I was trying to get over him so much that I was so happy when they told us that our college will be transferring to another building, about 7-10 minutes away from the main campus. I was relieved because at least I wouldn't have to see them often.
Anyway, they lasted for four years I think and then I just suddenly found out that they had already broken up. I didn't know if I should be happy or sad because they can no longer be friends.
In the New Year of 2005, we talked a lot through SMS and I felt really comfortable with that. The love I thought that I had burried a long time ago was making its presence at that time. I was then able to tell him how I felt about him all these years and he said that he didn't know what to say about it. Well, after some time, we weren't able to talk because I had work and I got so busy. The next year (2006), we again caught up with things and this time, I felt IT. I couldn't live a day without talking to him and even it took us until 1 or 2am in the morning just talking (take note: I have work at 7am the next day), it's alright because I knew something was developing between us. From then on, my sister, her best friend and some close friends started going out on gimmiks until it became somewhat regular. I liked it because I had to see him and be with him often.
In this same year, we at school (my workplace) planned to have a musical play and I was given a part so I decided to invite him and watch the play, which was planned to be shown on October. At first he hesitated because he said that he was busy but I was able to convince him with the help of my sister and her best friend. I had the best time during the last show because it was then that he surprised me when I was already in the stage, seated right across where I was standing and singing. When I saw him there, I couldn't help but sing to him the song. I felt it. I said to myself, this could be it. After the show, we had dinner and talked. It was one of the best times in my life.
After the play, our "relationship" grew better. Until one night, we went out with some friends, and at that time, he was already showing his feelings for me. He took me and my sister home and before he went, we talked a little and he kissed me when he said he was going home. I was so happy at that time!!! I didn't know what to do. Then, when he arrived home, we talked and eventually I asked him if he loved me and he said YES. At this time I said, seven years of wait has finally paid off. He became my boyfriend on November 4.
After seven days, I noticed he grew cold when I send him SMS. I asked him what was up and at that time, I feared he would say it is over. My worst fear came true. He told me he couldn't love me as his "girlfriend." He said, "we should just stay friends" and that "I need some time to think about this and maybe, in the future, we could start over again." And I told him, "so you're saying that I should wait for you again? What? Seven years of me waiting was not enough for you?!" I was so hurt and was so angry about what he said. I couldn't even imagine what I would do. Seven years of wait, seven days of being together, gone in just one snap of the fingers.
Now, I am still trying to accept the fact that we could be friends after what he did to me because after the break up, I didn't want any communication with him anymore.
Now the question is, how do I deal with my life now that the guy I so loved for seven long years suddenly disappeared?
unappreciated unappreciated
22-25, F
4 Responses Apr 22, 2007

I agree with PiscesDream - "The Rules" is a great book for you to read. Also, read "He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Behrendt. These books will help you get a formula together to know how to recognize love and how guys think. We need to keep an aura of mystery about ourselves to keep guys on their toes.

He doesn't deserve you. You need a man who will love you and be good to you. <br />
<br />
I wonder if you could read a book called "The Rules II " by Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider. This will explain a lot to you.<br />
<br />
Take care of your heart dear Halo! It is the most precious thing you have.<br />
<br />

*cry*<br />
Oh, this couldn't have been easy for you. When one loves another so much every day could be a struggle. But try to be optimistic. There is no gain in being sad. One day you will find the one meant to be with you.<br />
I wish I could be there to comfort you so you wouldn't need to feel this way.<br />
Nothing is easy in life... not even love.

Get oover it and go out with someone else is all I can suggest.