He Always Came BackI remember when I met him. He added me on "facebook". My friend Christy and I were on facebook and I found him through her account. He added me but I was too scared to actually chat him. I browsed through his photos and found him very attractive. He found the courage to write to me one day and we started talking. I was really hoping to meet him and told all my friends about this "new" boy. But since the only action I got was in a chat room, I told my friends it was "nothing". But that "nothing" so little, turned into "something" so big.
He texted me a few days after at about 9:00 P.M asking me if I wanted to go for a ride in his car with him. I was so nervous because I have been single for a while and I never "went for a ride" with a boy before. I wasn't even sexually active at all! I was very conservative.
When I met him, he was so beautiful. He was everything I wanted in a boy and I really wanted to kiss him. But I wasn't sure if he thought the same for me. And that night that he saw me, he kissed me and that changed everything.
As the months went on and on with this boy, we became closer. I decided to ask him if he wanted to make us official since every single time we would hang out, we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. And so, he did. We took the next step. But after a week of dating, he totally disappeared. He never called me and changed his "relationship status" to "single". It was definite it was over but I still had strong feelings for the boy. I didn't want this to ruin our friendship. After a month of avoiding me, he finally called me again. We hung out, and then he did it. He took my virginity and never called me the night after. I always tried to get in contact with him and push to hang out again. It became a routine. I would finally get him to call me, he would come over just to have sex with me, then never call me after for months on end and it tore me apart.
I was so nice to him. The nights he would come over, he would make me his girlfriend for a night and tell me it was official. But he would never to be found in the morning. After a year of going through this and being so persistent on making him fall in love with me, because I was falling in love with him I became pregnant. He never knew about the baby and I had an abortion because my logic was "If he can't love me, he will never love our baby".
He never loved me. He cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend and I still stayed with him. He never knew about our child, and he never knew I loved him. He never knew that he was the one to take my virginity and I was dying to tell him everything so badly but he was never around to hear it.
One day, we hung out again and I wrote him a letter. I told him that I loved him very much and that even if he couldn't be my boyfriend then I would like to try to be his best friend and I wanted to be the girl to make him feel better when he hated the rest of the world. He loved that letter that he never left me alone again and a few months after, he took me on a date.
I finally told him everything I was holding back and about our child. He felt horrible and he cried with me and there is not a day that goes by that he doesn't tell me he loves me. I was so persistent and I was willing to put my heart on the line every time he came over all those nights because I loved him. I would hate him if I could but if his actions didn't stop me then, they won't stop me now. We are four months strong and coming on our half year in September. We spend every night and every waking day together. I think about the times where he didn't love me and it makes me so grateful to have him now because if I gave up, then we wouldn't be where we are today. Our struggles have made our relationship stronger.
FarrahSpada 18-21, F 3 Responses 2 Jul 29, 2012