Unfortunate Love

I meet him when I was 9 years old, the age Dante met Beatrice :)

I knew I loved him by the first second I saw him. We had a short relationship when I was 15 years old, but I think we both were too young for such things. So our heaven ended and then I fell in deep depression and suicide thoughts. Now these times are gone; we tried to be friends again three years ago but it didn't go well. He now feels definitely heterosexual and has a female partner. But I just can't forget his love. Although he is the only boy I loved (I think of me to be bisexual), I cannot love anybody else. His presence taught me the True Love and spiritual devotion; I just cannot think about other people and relationships. I am quite happy and serene now, but I still love him and I guess I always will do. Now I am reading a lot of spiritual and sacred texts, and some teachers (for example Osho, Poonja, Vishnawanda) taught that sometimes God may be found through a devotion for someone or something, so deep, that you can forget about yourself and lose everything but pure consciousness and bliss of love, while feeling that devotion and just being in his-her-its presence.

I think that maybe I am walking this path and now I am very thankful about this love that happened to me. I will always seek True Love and I wrote my story just to say to people who are suffering for love: try to forget everything but your love, try not to think to 'your self' that has been 'rejected' or something, think only about your love and make every other thing disappear. You may find something special!! ;)

Jadore Jadore
22-25, M
1 Response May 3, 2007

Sometimes LOVE loves to play gambles on people's hearts and what' sad is that most of the time, people end up really getting hurt and would have a really hard time picking up the pieces and moving on. Everything just seems to fall in the wrong places. But as people say, we all have someone out there waiting for us. We are all loved, sometimes we just don't see or feel it. You'll find someone soon. Be strong.