I Have Wasted The Last 5 & 1/2 Years With You, On You...

My ex-girlfriend and I met 5 & 1/2 years ago and it was love at first site. I have been the perfect mate to her and loved her with all that I had. We can talk with each other about anything, we genuinely enjoy each others company and would rather spend all of our time with each other rather than anyone else. So what I don't understand is why did she find it so hard to love me back? She has always said she can only see herself with me and expressed how lucky she was to have me. So again, why is it that hurting and disrespecting me came so easy to her? The things she did to me and that I dealt with were things that no one else would have put up with, but I forgave her and stayed. I know that I deserve and can have better, and it has taken me a long time to get that into my head and get the courage to stand up and set boundaries for myself.

So with all that being said, here I am waiting for the 'better' that is out there waiting for me...all because I finally found the courage to let go.
Gratebrittian Gratebrittian
26-30, F
2 Responses Aug 30, 2012

What people say and people do are often quite different. I have also found the same to be true for how people feel and how they act. Perhaps she did love you but does not know how to express love. Real love baffles and scares many people, too.You do deserve better and I am glad that you did finally let go!<br />
My one piece of advice, and you can take it for what it's worth, is, don't just wait for the "better", seek it out! I have found that good things dont necessarily come to those who wait, but to those who seek. I know that there is something better out there for me, right now, in my life, it is time for quiet and searching retrospection. I have been able to move on, but I don't know what I am looking for right now. That will come in time, at least I hope that it will...

Don't wait for something better - go find it.

Exactly! Only thing is, I have no idea where to even start looking.

First, look inside yourself (figuratively speaking, LOL). Think about what you like to do and join a group that does it. Bowling? Join a league - ask at the bowling alley. Singing? Join a choir at your church. Cooking? Take a class at a community college. Cycling? Join a cycling group - ask at a bike shop.