When A Girl Loves Another Girl...

How do I describe Tessa...
She's sweet, innocent, beautiful, soft spoken and, oh yeah, STRAIGHT.

I had never loved someone like I loved Tessa, still don't. I wrote her an anonymous letter exposing my deepest feelings to her. She still doesn't know I wrote that letter, she still doesn't know that I wish I could tell her. Of all the hells on Earth, loving a straight girl has to be in there somewhere, right? No matter how hard you try there will always be that bit of you that will wonder

"What if she wasn't straight?"

And it's not like I don't have confidence in my ability, I'm changed some straight girls into bisexuals before. It's just, I don't WANT to change her, she's perfect the way she is and no matter how bad it hurts I'll just grit my teeth and bare it...Because even if she wasn't straight, she could still do so much better than me.

My Dearest Tessa,

As I write this now, I am afraid. Afraid that you could not see me the way I see you. The pain I have that you would no longer wish to have anything to do with me once you knew how I felt about you, Is greater than that of any poem or letter I could ever even begin to write.
You make me smile, and laugh. Even saying your name makes me ever so happy. Everytime I see you, my day is instantly transformed and made superior, I begin walking with a spring in my step, and just the thought of you makes me more excited than most anything. In books and Shakespearean plays, there are those who speak of floating, I finally know what they're referring to because darling, you make me float, and fly, and dream. I find myself thinking about you more often than I should. Just as when I see you I get more excited than I should. I can't help it though! I've fallen for you, and I can't dispose of how I feel. Even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to shake the powerful feelings I have. You've entwined me in your web, and I feel so many different ways, I find it hard to make this letter even partially eloquent. If I could say anything to you, I would tell you just how much I love your presence, and if the lingering feeling of rejection wasn't so potent and thick, I would tell you just how happy you make me. If I wasn't so afraid of you denying me the the thing I crave most, I wouldn't have to hide my feelings from you.
You're everything I've ever wanted and more. The sweetest smelling flower compares as nothing to you. My sweet, you make me ache with desire, a desire that only grows knowing I can't have you. If I was Eve and you were the apple, I wouldn't need the snake to influence me.
When I first realized how much I care for you, I was filled with longing...I want so badly to say "I love you." because I believe that is what I feel. But I could never live with myself knowing I lied to you, if I am wrong. You're the sweetest person I know, and I could never lie to someone with such a sweetness about them. Dove, you make my hand quiver as I pour out my deepest feelings to you upon this page, You make my insides hot with so many feelings; I find it hard to distinguish which one is strongest. You make me light and heavy at the same time. You make me soft and rough. I can't even begin to decipher, how many ways I wish you were mine. What I do know is, I wish you were. I wish that I could look at you this way, with lighthearted warmth like that of a mountain spring, and have you look back at me with your elegant dial, and shimmering eyes; and feel even partially the same way.
Love, your sweet face could launch many more than a thousand ships in my heart. Your voice is softer than a humming bird's song. Your words, as delicate as flower petals. And you make those around you calmer with those fantastical qualities.
I apologize for this. You do not deserve me pushing my thoughts upon you like a viper ready to spit venom upon the good meeting. I meant not to relinquish any of my love and then hiss at you like a demon out of Hell. I meant only to tell you how much love I feel, and how much I care for you.
I meant every word I have written, and I hope that you take no offense to it in thinking I meant to win you over with flattery, or insult your good heart. I have meant only to tell you how I feel, and how much hope I have that you will one day find it in your heart to love someone, the way I love you.

Love always,

Anonymous
PotPrincess PotPrincess
22-25, F
10 Responses Sep 20, 2012

That's a lovely thing to write.

I'm a guy, but I'll offer advice anyway since I'm a sucker for love. Just ask her if she has ever thought about you like that, ok, if she knows that your intrested, even if she isn't intrested now, one day she might, if you never get the message across in the right way, it'll never happen.

This is the first time something like this has happened D: she is the only straight girl I have ever even looked at like this :-/ it blows!

:) thank you.

Very sweet. I could feel your sincerity and love to her., very pure^^hope she find way of somehow feel it too .

Awh ^-^ thank you :)

I wish she felt the same. But suck is life. Thank you :) best of luck to you as well, I know you will find the right person.

I wish someone loved me that much. Good luck to you.

Thank you :)

You made the effort and it deserved a comment, you are most welcome :)

Beautifully written... We have all been there I know how you feel... Thank you soo much for sharing this x