Getting Over Someone Is Not Easy...

Very well written post!!

Nice

I can relate to this person and what they are going through. When my husband left me I got all sorts of advice and formulas for calculating how much time would be required to get over the loss. Everything from, "you'll meet someone else and have forgotten all about him by this time next year," to someone stating that it would take twice as long to move on as was the duration of our relationship. Yikes, that meant in 17 yrs I would be healed enough to take another try at it with someone else?!
I was in bad shape and I didn't want to accept that he had gotten over me so quickly or that my marriage had not only failed but crashed and burned miserably... with him not even wanting to talk to me or see me to discuss the reason(s) why. I had never dealt with someone leaving/abandoning me so I had no idea what to think or do or feel.
In the 2 1/2 years since, I've mastered the art of not thinking about it constantly.. that or anything else, unfortunately. It hasn't been a lifetime yet but I know that out of all the ppl who offered advice /words of wisdom/ etc there was only one person who was right, only one person who told me the truth. That person was my mom. She had told me that I will probably never recover completely....but she also comforted me by promising that it would get to be less and less painful as time passed. I remember her saying that there would always be a part of me that hurt, a small part of me still confused and feeling the loss of what should've been the rest of my life.
Divorce papers have been filed but no court date as of yet. I have a small hope that it's because he will someday want to try again with me but I should just accept that he's scared to discover if I am able to afford a good enough attorney;counsel that will prove the business I made so many sacrifces for was indeed ours even though his parents are listed as the owners. I would be scared too if there was a chance I'd have to appear before a judge to justify why I had abandoned my disabled, newly unemployed wife after being supported by her for the first 3 years until the loan for our now successful restaurant/sport's bar was paid. How do you convince anyone that you had good reason to use someone and then dump them when they needed you most? I never imagined it would end like this or that I would give up so easily. I know a part of me will always hurt and I think a part of me will always kick myself for not doing everything in my power to destroy his world as he had mine.

the good thing is that you become a better person. It made me realize what I was doing wrong and how immature we both were. I used to like this girl so much I just wanted to be with here and i would treat her like a princess but she would never really show me any affection and i guess at times it would really get to me. I realize now that sometimes its just better if you take it easy and dont jump into anything if that person does not seem to like you as much as you like them. its better to be with someone who actually thinks about you than to be with someone that could not even remember your own birthday even though you told them a week before...

didn't bother reading the comments, but quite a commemorative piece!
I wish you well in your searches for that someone that never lets you down.

Well... I know I need time.. but I feel like I can't... I loved him and still love him. he cheated on me and he didn't do anything to try to take me back.. just a letter saying I am so sorry... soo many plans together, so many dreams together and now it's soo hard I have to start again, it's hard to feel it's easier for him. It's killing me when I see he is not doing anything and just living his life and it looks like he doesn't miss me or anything....



He was the one who looks more in love than me.. and just like that??? first days I was soo upset and I didn't anything with him.. now after almost 3 weeks I feel in other stage.. NOW I want him back I want to forgive him.. please... what happen with all those plans even the morning before I found out everything.



I sent him a text 3 days ago.. just said miss you too.. then I asked I want to talk to you he said ok.. when??? no answer.



How can I stop loving him.. I don't want to feel anything.. no angry, no love, nothing.. I don't even want to remember him...

Hey. thanks...your article just come in time nicely.

When a person that you have loved and shared your most deepest thoughts, dreams,goals, friends ambitions and more leaves you , your life takes a crushing blow.Im sure it can be very difficult for some and devestating for others. The ones that are strong minded will be able to handle it while those who are not will suffer greatly. Hurting can be very painful but if one has high self esteem the time can be shortened by relating to the good qualities you have to offer someone new that will appreciate you. Try not to dwell the shoulda,woulda, couldas and consentrate on the now. Time heals all wounds!!!! Im sorry for your loss and now is the time to morn and move on. Dont look back,it never works.

My husband just left me a week ago today..im of course still falling apart we have a daughter together and is only 3 and we have all of our previous children from other prev marriages involved. I felt like my whole world crumbled around me when he sent the email to my work telling me he didnt love me for the past two years....I really hope i can move on.....

it is easier said t han done my friend.
it is the engraving that makes it so hard to get over someone.
especially if it was unconditional love. i have loved someone so much that it becomes impossible to forget him and move on. i have tried, consiously and unconsciously but all in vain.
and sometimes i think, it doesnt deserve to be forgotten... somethings are better when you keep them with you and you are better off with it too.