I Loved My Best Friend, But At Least She Let Me Down Easy

We went to high school together, and at that time i didn't have any feelings other than friendship for her, fast forward 7 years and we are still good friends.. but one day i go on holidays to the town where she lives, she has a spare room so i ask if i could use it, she agrees.. and so i begin my descent into madness.

Before that weekend she was a good friend, we used to hang out, go to night clubs, but there was nothing more than friendship, but something happened that weekend, i fell in love with her, we spent an afternoon watching TV, went for some walks, ordered takeout one night, i was on such a high i felt my heart would explode from the feelings. I couldn't do much but grin from the power of the feelings.

I never got around to telling her that weekend but a couple of months later i was going on a plane trip and i decided to tell her in the un-likely event of a plane crash ( hey it was a good excuse for me to get over my shyness ).. And she rejected me. She said she was flattered, but she only wanted to be friends..

That hurt, that really really really hurt, the pain was horrible, i cried.. oh how i cried. She was totally understanding though, that was the the thing that helped me go on, she treated me so well it made me so happy, it offset alot of the pain. She understood my pain, and helped me though it. A true friend.

I love her even more now, but she dosn't love me. I live for the fact that she is a true friend now, our friendship survived the fire, and now we are closer friends then ever. I still flirt with her, but now only semi-seriously, and i try to quash the feelings that threaten to overwhelm me whenever i chat to her on email, msn or the phone.

I try to think back, to think about things i could have done to win her. Could i have said something different, acted different?

Maybe she will love me eventually, though i live 5hr drive away in another town, or maybe she wont, but i realize that until that time comes i should live my own life, there are another couple of billion women out in the world, i'm sure i can love one of them just as much or even more than her, and that woman would love me back.
Spikeles Spikeles
22-25, M
5 Responses Dec 21, 2006

<br />
Who deserves it?<br />
<br />
My best pal ever .. Prince Of Prestatyn .. Karaoke King Ken<br />
<br />
A veteran unsung hero of North Wales Flood Defence<br />
<br />
Picture Faithful Sam<br />
<br />
The Hobbit sidekick in Lord Of The Rings epic movie series<br />
<br />
In a cowboy hat<br />
<br />
My mate Ken has done @ 32 years service @ North Wales Flood Defence<br />
<br />
He's nearly 57 & his asthma may mean early retirement on health grounds<br />
<br />
This unsung hero also does old ladies' gardens & lokks after young ladies' horses - he deserves a CBE .. or MBE .. or OBE, yes?<br />
<br />
Any tough Scousers outa work & in love with North Wales?<br />
<br />
Google, join North Wales Flood Defence<br />
<br />
& take aptitude test<br />
<br />
It's a hard job<br />
<br />
But a vital one

Yes, yes, yes. Similar road as what you're on, same feelings.<br />
<br />
"and so i begin my descent into madness"<br />
<br />
Brother, this is a madness that's better than sanity, or at least I think so. Don't lose your heart to save your mind. Don't try to get back to "normal" again too quickly. Nobody enjoys suffering, but often good things result from enduring through it to the end.<br />
<br />
Are you doing crazy things yet? If not, odds are you will. She's worth it.<br />
<br />
I made an EP group--"I Am A Romantic Idiot"--and I think you'd fit in. Peace.

Hey spikeles,<br />
that is really sad man. You love her so much but she doesnt love you. I have a similar situation. I am in love with my best mates girlfriend. I have loved her since I was 4 and now i am sixteen. I have loved her since I first walked into kindergarten and she was playing with the blocks and she looked up at me with those beautiful puppy dog eyes. She still has those eyes to this day. <br />
Anyway we were best of friends and still are. We went to primary skool together and in secondary skool we go on the bus to two different non co ed schools. I went down the street with a few of her friends like we always do but one time this year and my mate came along. They met and started talking and us three and my girlfriend at the time spent heaps of time together ova the next 2 months. But then my girlfriend dumped me. She always knew i liked my best friend. And now it is four months after my best friend and my best mate started going out and they are still in love.<br />
<br />
It is torture to me to see them together. I have loved her for 11 years and she knows it and he has known her 4 months and she cares about him more than she ever cared about me.<br />
I am the one that has always been there for her but it doesnt make a difference. I got smashed by her ex for sticking up for her when he "took advantage" of her when she didnt want him 2.<br />
3 days ago my best mate came ova for a 2 night sleepover and she came over both days.<br />
The first day we all had heaps of fun<br />
The second day they were kissing under a tree for an hour. I just sat there. Staring at the most beautiful girl in the world look up at him with her beautiful eyes. Looking at him how she is never going to look at me.<br />
I still cant get the image of her lips touching his out of my head.<br />
I see her kissing him every time i close my eyes.<br />
<br />
I love her so much but she doesnt love me back. I would do anything for her but she doesnt love me.<br />
She loves my best mate.<br />
and I love her<br />
i know this is sorta different to wat happened to you but i need to talk to someone about this so can u comment me back or something - im not sure how this site works yet coz i only joined up yesterday<br />
Thanks<br />

i'm sorry it didn't work out but i promise you there is nothing you could have done to won her over. she was either going to be attracted to you or not, in this case not. BUT, that doesn't neccessarily mean that won't change over time. I was friends - just close friends - with a guy for 6 years before something just happened. we lived 3 hours apart and i would see him maybe 3 times a year. i was going away for grad school and went to visit him in the fall of 2003. jan of 2004 he drove down to see me for my birthday. by march he got up the nerve to ask me out on a date and i said OK - there were some feelings there and they were mutual. by april/may we were very much together and intimate and such but when i moved across to the other side of the country that July things fizzled out. i think my point here is that it all comes down to timing - if it's meant to be it will be but you don't get to decide that (which sucks). maybe you and she will have synched timing in the future, maybe you won't. but at least you still have the friendship, which is priceless. and sadly, i can't say the same.

I understand the feeling, do I ever. At least you've figured out how to go on, I simply can't, every time I try to go out I see her in my mind's eye, every person I'm with I end up comparing to her. I can't help it, the pain is so intense I just break down at times. I don't think I can keep doing this much longer, I got my chance at my one and only and I blew it. I don't want to be alone the rest of my life, so perhaps its time to end my life.