I Just Don't Know

i'm the type of guy who always wants to make people i'm a bit of a joker so much so that people don't take me serious i'm friends with everyone but true friends with nobody my life is romance less because to them i'm a bit of a joke as i've said and the other reason is i could never take the rejection i'm just so alone

but i'll never show them that to them i'm always happy always happy i no longer have control of it

but about the girl she's beautiful olive fair skin very soft features long brown hair beautiful big blue eyes but she is always so sad everyday just so sad she is silent sad doesn't talk about it doesn't go goth she dresses and looks like tha average teen but just always deflated as though she's broken inside just empty i think thats why i like her so much i feel like i want to protect her from emotional pain bring her joy i want to see her smile just be with her and really talk

 but it hurts every day in class to look at her and want her but i'm so frightened to let her know my true feelings i just can't take that rejection again not like the last time

she likes another boy in our class but her has made it clear that it wouldn't work this causes the same pain i feel

they have hooked up in the past

one of the worst things about it is that i think she might like me back but i've been wrong before we are in a kind of theatre program daily and the only way i've ever been able to express my love for her is as romeo to her juliet

i just don't know how much longer i can take this i just want something real i just want someone o god i can't even cry any more i've run out of tears but it still hurts every day i just wat to be loved

alexanderbz alexanderbz
18-21, M
May 12, 2007