Unrequited Love

my first love was a girl i went to school with. to this day when i think of the type of woman i want to be with in regards of looks ethnicity personality i base them on her. i was good friends with her through out primary school secondary school and college. i finally worked up the courage to tell her how i felt on our last year in college and she was sweet about it but told me she didnt feel the same way. things were awkward for the last months untill we graduate and go our oown ways in the world.....years spent thinking about her modeling her on ideal wife and quite disturbingly i admit came to feel obsessed about her. one day i made a facebook account out of curiosity i typed in my old school and i saw some familiar names and added some old faces one by one and friend suggestions led to other friend suggestions untill i came accross her profile..I HAD THE BIGGEST SMILE ON MY FACE lol.the last time is aw her face was in 2002 in college her image of her face kinda faded away from memmory and now 2009. so we got chatting online swapped numbers and got chatting find out about each others lives. albeit it was a internet friendship i think it was best that way i didnt want to risk old feelings and rejection all over again. so now shes a teacher and happy and to my shock she has been living no more then 10 miles in the next town all these years :(. now fast forward to 3 years later shes now getting married and moving to london with her new husband. im not gonna lie i did feel sad but happy for her..the issue is i feel like im never gonna find a woman like her again and is main reason why i havent been able to maintain a functional adult relationship cus i just hold this fantasy that the type of woman i am fated for is some one who has all her qualities.
rispeto rispeto
26-30, M
Nov 29, 2012