I Am *still In Love* With Someone That Doesn't Love Me

I've liked her for a long time, about 2 years, and today I just realized that I didn't want this unfortunate situation to rule my life forever.

Ever since she got her first boyfriend, which was about 2-3 months after I realized I liked her, I've been looking at myself and wondering why she didn't like me back. I'd obsess over it and hate myself for days, trying to find some flaw that would tell me why she liked him and not me.

I couldn't tell her at first because I was terrified that she'd hate me forever because she's my closest friend. When she found her boyfriend, it was because she was so in love with him and she only wanted to talk to me about him, she'd go on and on about how he was so nice and funny and beautiful and perfect. When they broke up, she thought that she did something wrong, so I didn't want to burden her with my problem or be her rebound relationship. A bit after she realized that he was the problem, not her, I told her. Safe to say, she didn't feel the same way. At first. All of this happened in one year, so a bit after the start of the second year, she told me she liked me too. That moment made me ecstatic at first, but after a while I started to regret telling her that I liked her.

I think she lied because she felt bad or something because she didn't actually like me, anyone could see that.

Anyway, every since then, I've been really unhappy everyday. I hated getting up, I hated school, I hated life, basically. All because this one girl just doesn't like me. I wish I realized I was being so stupid sooner, I swear there's a movie on this, 'She's Just Not That Into You'. I wish someone told me that, I wouldn't have wasted so much time being unhappy.

So yeah, I've decided to move on with my life because she'll have other boyfriends and I don't want to still be hopelessly in love when that happens. Plus, I might even find someone worth falling for :)
TrafalgarLaw TrafalgarLaw
18-21, F
Nov 29, 2012