I Didn't Know Feelings Can Be So One-sided

(It means when your heart is bleeding out and you cannot go 2 seconds without thinking about someone, they could be just kicking back sipping on a margarita)
They are not that cruel, just giving you the extreme for comedic effect (I have a doctorate degree in Sarcasmology, any academic inquiry please refer to my education section of my profile, there's my office #).

Please pardon my French throughout the post.

This is an empty laugh unless you haven't noticed.
I just learned a valuable life lesson today.
I know I'm a slow learner because I'm already 23.
But then again, I have not fallen for many girls.
Lets see, 1.. 2... 3... 4... 5!

The first girl, she liked me a lot for almost 3 years in middle school.
I also liked her (but probably not as much).
She made all kinds of moves to draw my attention and hinted that she's interested.
But I was too shy a boy to express or even accept her "love".
Many years later, when we were in college, she sent me an email saying how much I impacted her life, and that she wanted me to know that she met her first boy friend.
Now, after being rejected and heart broken, I realize how much I might have hurt the first girl.
I'm sorry (wow, that sounded like a half-hearted fake apology haha).

The second girl, she was 1 year younger than me. I was like 15 (memories are fading, read lots of books while you can before you're an old geezer like me).
I basically made a stupid move (I wrote a letter and told her friend to give it to her).
What I didn't realize was that my $10 got stuck in that letter (I wasn't carrying a wallet).
This created a disaster that had a great impact on my life later on.
Basically I was kinda bullied by her friends (can you believe that? unbelievably shameful but now that I think about it it's also hilarious).
They threatened me that they were gonna expose the letter to the whole school.
My feelings were taken prisoner against me and I took them seriously at the time (or else I would've told the girl, "**** the letter").
I was outgoing and had many friends back then but I was also shy around new people and very sensitive.
Anyway, that girl gifted me social anxiety. Thanks!

The third girl, I had a crush on during high school.
She was very intelligent, mysterious and also almost felt transcendent in a way (like she was from another planet visiting Earth, she was probably just very very mature (notice the 2 verys? I mean them)).
Long story short, I take her to lunch, I confess my feelings on the way back to school.
And she initially says yes, but then changes her mind. WHAAAAAAAT?!
Of course, she gave me a lot of excuses.
That she was unable to give me love for reasons she couldn't tell me (if I knew the truth I'd be in danger was what she said).
At the time, I just thought she really had her reasons.
But now, I cannot help myself but think, "Baloney!" (thinking back, what's most amusing was that she said, "You're gonna look back some time in the future and think that I was a liar).
Ding ding ding ding ding ka-ching!
I told her I'd never think of her that way.
Hyeah.. like I would now.
The funnier thing is that I didn't let her go for 5 years (although I lost contact with her after she apparently went to Harvard. A smart girl indeed).
Yes, you heard me. 5 years.
That wasn't a prison sentence (or was it?). 
I told myself I'd never be this brain-dead again.

If a girl gives you any kinda reason as to why she cannot be with you, it means, you are not worth her time, that you are ugly and that you should **** off.
Oh my.. Pardon me.
Here's a great video for those who are still confused about the message they are getting.


If a girl likes you then no matter what difficulties she has, she's gonna try to be with you (very likely).
If not, she is just not interested (enough).
This is probably the most valuable lesson I have ever learned, and will ever learn in terms of relationship.
Anyway, to get back to the story, the fourth girl rejected me because she was already engaged (of course, I didn't know that).

The fifth, I have a whole story about her. Hope it entertains you, or else it's just me being a whiny bitchy fool (not that I didn't mean what I wrote at the time).
Ok. I feel better now. Any question, love or hate comment is appreciated.
Note to reader: My feelings towards them were always genuine and sincere. They should not in any way be confused with the tone of this writing (except for the 2nd girl).
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Jan 6, 2013