Not Mutual

i once loved this boy very much which was crazy because i never seen him that way, he come into my life at a point when i was very down( i just got out a relationship of 8 months was drinking and doin drugs party'n alot) and he brought me up again! but because of the last realtionship i was holding back,i was so afraid of being hurt again... so i did nagg him alot, and broke up with him because i was afraid..we did always get back together.. but finally he had enough of it all when i cussed him out because i thought he was cheating which i still do but i dont know!

we continued to see each other mess around but wasnt exactly in a relationship.. i fell hard for him, and i found out he was in a realationship with another girl..i was so hurt... i continued to see him still, and eventually his girlfriend found out! i told her i loved her boyfriend and i couldnt get opver him that easily, she told me herself that the love was not mutual and i should move on!

and Just how he brought me up he brought me down, further than before!


18-21, F
1 Response May 23, 2007

that is awful y soes things like that happen? especially back to back, to much way to soon.<br />
i guess we just have to b strong and deal, iknow esier siad than done, hopefully the next one will be better, shut what do u have 2 do now a day hire a private detective 2 find out if he is true or is he who he says he is to bad its so expensive.<br />
i tell you one thing i started looking up the men i met at the cop shops about any kind of criminal record on the men i dated br iet men after 2nd divorce and was in domestic violence for 5 yrs. when i went down there to find out my husbands past records i about died right there at the court house. one time we went to court again over his d/v the jjusdge asked my old man what kind of trouble had he ever been in besides the d/v with me and he answered that he got a suspended licence and a charge of idtruction of property under 100 bucks which is a mis deaner, the judge looked at him adn said let me tell you what i have hear that you have ben involved in and she started reading it, my god i kidnt know this man for **** there were so many things he had been charged with and not light things, the judge looked at him and said i believe that u r a very dangerous man and your bond is a half of a million dollars cash bond. so it is not a bad idea to go to cop shop and find out what the man is all about he never has to know and it wiill either make u leave him immediatly or knwo that he is good for sure.i did it with my husband now and he would die if he knew but it ws good he never had been convicted o feven a speeding ticket who wonderful that was after my 2nd husbands record that man should have been in prison long ago he just lucked out big time with the courts, i am hoping that the karma will set in one day and he does end up where he belongs for a long *** time<br />
i can relate to your scaredness of your new boufriend i am write on top of that feeling, it has taken me 5 full years to start breaking down my huge wall around me, maybe only one brick at a time and i have a long way to go, little does my hubby no, but i do and i dont want to ever have to put even one brick back up i want it broke down completly and i am sure one day it will, it feels good weven if it is only one brick at a time. for instance i can now sleep with my vertical blinds half open for the last 5 years they had to be completly closed as a new that my x was houvering over our house and looking in at night i really believed that, now they can be open but in a certain postion that he cant see us if he does look in, that is abrick down and it feels good, i can finally sleep in my underwear and bra i never have done that since i was 17 i was date raped andnothing became of it i never reported it, but seemslike all this time i just couldnt sleep like that i never really knew why, but one day it dawned on me y, been with hubby 5 years and he said hmmm what is this, i said it is comfortable, then he came up to me about 4 or so hours later and said hey who knows maybe 5 years fromnow i can get u to sleep nude, we laughed until tears came to my eyes ithought that was cute, he is a troper well gotta things to do on here i have to go <br />