I Should Be Way Over This, But I'm Not.....

She came over to where I work at in the plant....completely innocent, beautiful, and clueless...

As the time that I've spent broken, longing for, and crying over her never really happened...

That I really believed the flirting and suggestive conversations WE shared were only bad, bad dreams in her mind....that I should have known better....

She never saw me as she asked for the three rolls of shipping tape she needed....because she never felt or heard me when I asked her for the chance to win her heart.....

And I know I shouldn't allow her to have this type of power over me....that staying hurt and angry at her keeps me from seeing or feeling someone else's eyes on me....or someone else's heartbeat skip through my body.....

But her face is frozen in my eyes....and she has all the room she wants in my mind to roam around freely....while she walks away and has forgotten me again...

Maybe I gave her enough tape so she won't have to come up front tomorrow....if there was even a today or a tomorrow...because I'm stuck in this loop I created for myself with her....when I was never even a thought in hers.

usbank2012 usbank2012
46-50, M
1 Response Jan 10, 2013

Sounds like you got walked over, I don't know about you? tell you the truth if she was that empty to me. Her faced couldn't stay froze in my mind. I HATE hanging on to people when the hurt me. I shut my door quick he may walk through my mind but he want to the floor of my heart again. I love them a long time after he hurts me but the day come it's over I want ever look back.

I am in a much better place now than I was when I wrote this....I have gotten some advice and help from a non-traditional councilor, and I've learned how to forgive and start loving myself more than I ever had.