My Best Friends Girlfriend

Its been 5 years now. I want to make it completely clear i would never ever try to take it further i regard my friendship with C far too highly. I just want to share my story with people and perhaps get some advice and support on it. Now, The thing is.. it's gone through different stages and not even been completely apparent all the time. So i will try to explain it in these stages...

At first, i would have called it a crush seen as i was only 15/16. She was very pretty and genuinely the nicest person anybody could wish to meet. This is how i see the first year of it, however i began to realize that it was more than this.

This is where i would say the second stage comes in. I believe this is where i began to fall in love. I had never been in a relationship before and therefore wasnt completely sure. All i knew was i couldn't stop thinking about her and i used to wake up thinking.. 'what lessons have i got with K today' which seems silly but what im trying to say is that i wanted to be with her at all times. Needless to say, my friendship with her grew strong and i now considered C and K my 'best friends'. This is when it got too wierd for me. I hated myself for the feelings i was having for K and for some reason i decided to confess the attraction. But as i said before, i wouldn't dream of doing anything to come between them. I therefore confessed the attraction to my best friend rather than K herself. I told him how i felt, that i was sorry and that i was going to get over it and i hoped we could all still be friends. Im still not sure where i thought this would get me.. I just needed the weight to be lifted from my shoulders. And i suppose it was to a certain degree, however it was wierd afterwards and certainly i haven't had the same relationship with K afterwards.

I will class years 3 and 4 as the next stage. Like is said me and K were never as close as we had been but we did become good friends again during these two years. The same with my best friend, although i do like to think we got past this and are actually now better friends than even before. I think a large part of the reason we were all still able to be friends is because halfway through the third year I actually found another girl (B). It is difficult for me to understand let alone explain but essentially i did fall in love with B. I had an extremely happy relationship with her for a year and a half and i was also heartbroken after we split up. I genuinely was madly in love with B i cant stress that enough. Which begs the question what about K? This actually caused many arguments between me and B. I honestly believed myself to be over K all the way through our relationship but i can see in hindsight maybe i was never 100% over her. This isnt too say i wasnt faithful to B because i was. I never consciously had a thought about another girl whilst i was with her. She made me happy and took away the insecurities i had and now have again about myself. The main question here is, is it possible to love to people at once? And therefore can either one be true? My conclusion here, although sketchy, is that what i felt for B was indeed true love. I would have done anything for her. What i felt for K was subconscious, i was not aware of it until afterwards, but that it was still love. A love that i knew i could never have.

This takes me to the final 'stage' as it were. The part that is the present. What i feel for K is not what i felt for B whilst i was with her. It is not as strong as it was years ago but it is still there. I can tell this because when i see her i still find myself sometimes admiring her beauty, sometimes wishing things had been different. Is this unrequited love? A love that can never be or perhaps i dont even want it to be for friendships sake. Maybe im just a sucker for love itself and want desperately to have someone love me back. I do know that i have plenty of time to find 'the one' (I am a believer in there being someone for everyone) I just wanted to share my story. It feels good to have this weight off my shoulders to be honest. Its nice to be able to share it rather than laying up all night thinking things over to myself. I ask that you don't think bad of me for loving someone i know im not supposed to. I would never ever act upon it. I know this is a fairly long story if you took the time to read through it i appreciate it greatly :) feel free to leave any comments or questions etc. i like the idea of being able to share things
tniner1 tniner1
18-21, M
3 Responses Jan 14, 2013

I know someone who liked a guy in school, it was unrequited that time...
She passed out and moved on in life never knowing that when she was gone, the guy realized he had feeling for her (Revealed by friends later). She met new people, got a life. Fell in love with a perfect gentleman colleague and got married... Now she is happy and content in her marriage and loves and respects her husband very much.
Still whenever she sees that guy on social networks, there is a subconscious thing tugging at her. She ignores it and again gets happy in her life.
Moral of the story: Stuff like this happens, all you need is that 'someone' in your life who will make you forget everything else... :)

thankyou for sharing :) this really helps

I been through that situation before and I know how you feel. It sucks but after a while you move on and you stop thinking about the girl. It happened to me just try to be cool with you best friend and be there for him don't fight over a girl it's not worth it! Well hope my advice can help :)

Cool man thanks for the advice i really appreciate it :)

Anytime :)

Tough deal brother, but it's quite taboo. You owe your friend respect above all else (including women). If things are meant to be between the two of you, it will happen :) Just be patient young man!

Yeah, I would never go against my friend, thankyou for the support :)

You bet. And don't spy on her through her window either. That is just creeper'ish lol

That is really creepy and weird!

lol i have no intention of that don't worry!

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