True Story

Everyone wants to know if I have ever dated, been involved, or had any connection to a man my age and the answer is yes. I'm writing this to answer everyone's question.

I was 18, a freshmen in college in a small town. There was a foam party outside of the dorms for the freshmen to get to know each other. I was standing with my roommates and I looked to my left. He was standing there with his friends looking at me. I know it sounds corny but when I looked at him it seemed like everyone disappeared and the music stopped. He beckoned for me to come over. I shook my head and told him he had to come to me. He gave me the sexiest smirk and I looked away for a few seconds. When I looked back he was gone. I felt kind of bad because he was really cute. A few minutes later someone tapped me on my shoulder and said "hi Payton, do you remember me" I jumped back and said no he said "Im Lexi's ex boyfriend." I then remembered him because Lexi was a friend from hight school. We talked a while exchanging numbers. I went back up to my room showered and got ready for bed. Right before I got in the bed I got a text asking me if I wanted to meet him outside. Overly excited I said yes. I put on my slippers and immediately walked out the door. I met him outside and we walked and talked just catching up on what had been going on. He then asked me if I wanted to see his room. He stayed in the upper class dorms and I really did want to see them. We walked over and I walked in, it was like an apartment and they had their own room, whereas in the freshmen dorm we had another person in our room. I walked his room and he closed the door behind us. We talked for a while and he asked me if I wanted a massage. I don't know why but I said yes. He gave an okay massage but it's what happened next that freaked me out. While he was massaging me he pulled down my pants and panties and started rubbing my butt. i quickly pulled them up and he continued to massage me. He then pulled them back down but as I was going to pull it back up he popped my hand, so I just let he stay down. I was laying on my stomach while he was sitting on the back of my legs which were partially open when he stuck his finger in me. He started to finger me and I started to moan. My mind wanted to say stop but my body was saying go ahead. Before i knew it he had stuck his perfect **** inside me and began to have sex with me while I lay on my stomach. I told him to stop because he didn't have on a rubber. He got up and asked if I wanted to stop, I undressed and told him I was ready and we continued (without the rubber). After the sex we just lay there both of us naked and he held me as I went to sleep. For the next 7 months we made love at least twice a week. It got to the point where our secret was out because both of us stayed on campus. No one would mess with me because I was "HIS" girl even though we were never officially together. He wasn't dominant but he was a man that knew how to let it be known. Our love making was like nothing I have ever experienced before. When we would have sex I could feel it in my chest right where my heart is. He always held me when we were going to sleep and I never wanted to go to sleep because I didn't want that moment to end. I remember one morning waking up in his arms and he kissed me on the forehead and said "good morning." I was truly in love for the first time in my life but in my mind I knew it would last forever. One day I went to his dorms to visit a friend and his roommate told me he had gone to pick up his fiance. I was devastated!!! They came back and she stayed with him in the dorms. He never spoke to me while she was there. He would give me the worst looks you could ever imagine, like I had done something wrong. I never said anything to her even though my friends begged me to tell her. He eventually left before the semester ended. They moved to another state and got married. Everyone made sure to ask me if I knew. It hurt so bad I felt as if I had been shot in the heart. I actually thought I was having a heart attack because my chest hurt so bad. I couldn't even cry because I didn't want anyone to see me. It was the best and worst moment of my life. I would love to go in to detail about the sex because I remember EVERYTHING. But I know I will never let myself feel that way about another ever again. Love takes so much energy and I just don't have it in me...........................................Hmmmmm the only question I could think someone would ask me is after all that do I still love him. My answer is you never stop loving a person you either never did or always will. I've just learned to live without him. But he will ALWAYS have that place in my heart
Payton1989 Payton1989
22-25, F
4 Responses Jan 14, 2013

Woah... let me tell you something. when you find "the one" and be happy... call me. Not only am I completely devastated that this dude completely broke your ******* heart, but if you were my best friend ( you could be I have no idea) I would rip that ************'s heart out, fry it, take one bite out of it, and shove the rest down his ************* throat.
Lilli (Ghost)

LOL Thanx he really would've deserved that

You just can't find decent men anymore. Where did all the romance go?!

I know exactly what you mean about not having the energy to love anymore. I was in love with this guy for four years before he broke my heart and it ruined me. I refuse to let myself fall for anyone like that again just to get hurt. The very thought is emotionally draining.

I'm sorry he hurt you like that Payton. But, you will love someone again. It may take years but one day, you'll find someone that will once again take your breath away and you'll fall head over heels once again. The human mind and body are amazing healing machines. I wish you the best. xoxoxoxo

An enthralling exciting, touching, sensitive, loving, yet painful story you have shared so bravely with us Payton. When i was reading the story i was on a heightened feeling of excitement and arousal until i reached the point when ''One day I went to his dorms to visit a friend and his roommate told me he had gone to pick up his fiance. I was devastated!!!''. My heartfelt sorrow reached out for you and suddenly my excitement immediately subsided as if i was enduring what you have unfortunately felt. It is an amazing captivating story. It is so sad that you were treated so disdainfully and ungratefully without a scintilla of concern for your emotional feelings, which has seemingly left a permanent scar. You obviously have some unforgettable memories from your experience with this guy and in my opinion what he does not appreciate and never will, is what he chose to turn his back on namely ''you''. Since he engaged in an intimate relationship with you behind his fiance's back unbeknown to you, i would respectfully suggest you may be better off without him looking at it from a positive perspective. Moreover, if he has done it once behind his fiance's back, it is almost certain it will happen again to her. Neither you nor she deserves this kind of treatment, so simply put it down to experience and savor the happiest memories of your relationship with him and continue to move on like you have. <br />
Thank you for sharing your story, it is greatly appreciated Payton.

Reading your comment really made me want to cry. I truly did love him and I'm honestly afraid to feel that way about anyone else. I really appreciate you responses especially on this story. I read the story again and I realized how jumbled my thoughts were while writing it. I purposely omitted details because it was too painful to write about. You're absolutely right we both deserve better but the memories and feelings keeps us both stuck.

I am sorry if my reply upset you. It was certainly not intended to. I sensed from reading your story that unquestionably you loved him and in light of the way it ultimately turned out, i can fully appreciate how afraid you are to have similar feelings for another person. Your story was written exceptionally well considering you were re-visiting a painful past. I gathered that you purposely omitted details due to the painful difficulty of writing about it. In the circumstances it was sensible that you chose not to. In that regard you deserve understanding and respect. Time is really the only effective method of healing the emotional consequences emanting from a broken relationship. Rebound relationships invariably are proven not to be the substitute many hope they will be that will enable them to overcome and forget the past. I am sure eventually the painful elements of your relationship will subside giving you well deserved peace of mind, however i am certain you will be very guarded in future about expressing your feelings for another person to readily. I wish you all the happiness this world can bestow on you Payton.

Oh no your comment didn't upset me. It's just for years i've been trying to get someone to undertand and to finally have someone know how I feel and also to understand it just feel so good. I really appreciate your kind words.

I am relieved to know i didnt upset you. The words are heartfelt, sincere and my pleasure.

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