Years Ago...

I got to talking to this guy online.  We met in a "sex chat room".  Seems like ages ago.

Anyway,   I was single & he was married. I liked him, but I couldn't see myself with him.  He was sort of a jerk when it came to being a husband.

We had "Sexual relations" a few times, in the form of text.  He sure had my attention, lust was fully kicked in.  I still didn't see him as a life mate though.

He discussed with me a plan that he and his wife had.  They each were going to meet up with someone that they've been chatting with, to have sex with them.  I was like a kid in the back of the class room.."Me! Pick me! Oh me!"  Since I wasn't the only girl he was currently having "Sexual relations" with, he and I weren't exclusive.

Turned out, he did pick me.  Before he and I met in person, I spoke with his wife a lot.  She liked me.  It was sort of an odd situation.  She defended me a few times in the chat room when the guy SHE was going to meet, gave me crap for "being a ****". 

Alright, I'll get to the point.  We met, we hit it off, I showed him around my town.  We got along great.  Again, I still saw him as a friend, couldn't see him as a boyfriend/husband.

Then...the moment came.  We did the deed.
I had this feeling come over me that I wasn't used to.  As he drifted off to sleep, like males generally do, I silently cried.

"Damn it, I'm in love."

I knew for a fact the feeling wasn't mutual, this was just a fling for him.  I didn't tell him how I felt right away. I wasn't even sure I was feeling what I thought I was feeling. I thought it may've just been good sex.

He went home, time went by.  I had all the symptoms.  Trouble sleeping, couldn't eat, thinking about him constantly.   It was so frustrating.

That was when I learned, you can be in love, without wanting to.

It was driving me crazy.
Finally, I broke down and told him how I felt.

He then, was quite cruel. Said things I can't even remember because it shocked me so badly. They were hateful, painful things said.

I hated him.

Years later, we turned up in the same social circle.  After things had died down and emotions have simmered.  He admitted to me that he did that, to help me fall out of love.  To snap me out of it, so to speak.

It worked.
meowmeowface meowmeowface
36-40, F
2 Responses Jun 1, 2007

you were just so alone...when people are alone they do crazy things...I've some experiences pretty like you<br />
<br />
try to forget them

wow!! what a crazy experience, sorry it turned out like that but im sure it was for the best