Post

I Thought He Loved Me Back!!!!

Here is my Story


    I had a best friend when I was like 8 or 9 that I was very close to. She would come over to my house and she had a crush on my cousin, so we would go to his house when she was over so she could talk to him. Well she had  a brother who happend to be my cousins best friend and so I would go to see him at my cousins to. I had the biggest crush on him that anyone could ever have and I thought id never get my chance.


     This girl that lived with us, which was like a sister to me would go with me to my cousins with my to see the guy I liked . He ended up liking her and not me. I liked him from the time I was in like 3rd grade up until I was in 10th grade and I was 16. I watched him be with my friends and screw around with them and I still knew I loved him and wanted my chance.


     Well my friend that he liked had moved out of my house, and moved to Texas. She came in when I turned 16 to visit and she was all over him. He went to sleep instead of talking to her cuz he was drunk. She left and went back to Texas. He came back over and he called my house.


     I had never really had a boyfriend and I was very shy. I was affraid to tell my  parents that I wanted to date him. He told me that he woudlnt date me unless I asked thier permission so I did. We started hanging out and getting closer and I fell so deeply in Love with him.


     He had always just been with girls before to have sex with them and well he was different with me. I never thought he would ever hurt me since he was my cousins best freind. He never tried to have sex with me for 3mths when we first were together and then he did. I lost my virginity to him and I thought id be with him forever.


     I was so close to him and I never went anywhere without him. I loved him so much I did everything he told or asked me to do even if it was something I didnt want to do. I got so lost in my feelings for him that I didnt realize that he didnt love me at all. We were together from when I was 16 up until a few weeks before my 18th b-day.


     He was always accusing me of realy mean and weird things. My cousins mom had kind of raised me and they were like brothers and I told them everything and he would always tell me not to go to thier house unless he was there. I never knew why and then he started accusing me of sleeping with my cousins and of cheating on him. My cousins were always telling me normally the accuser was the cheater, and I didnt listen.


      He became so controlling that I was affraid of him sometimes. He would tell me that if i went with my friends or  family he would leave me and I thougth if I lost him I would loose my whole world. I stopped talking to my friends and most of my family and if I brought a friend home he was really rude to them. He was into some things that werent good, if you know what I mean. I really thought he loved me though, and I tried so hard to be what he wanted and be good enough, so I just kept on doing what he told me to.


      His temper just got worse and my cousins were in on it with him. I always thought I could trust them to tell me if he cheated on me or did the things I didnt approve of. They would take him places and not let me go. He would just cuss me and make me cry and punch walls if I sayed anything about him going.He could go with his friends but I couldnt.


     There was  this girl who is distantly related to me and she liked him. I knew something was up but never thought he would cheat on me. He knew how much I loved him and I thought he loved me. Well I broke up with him after I realized I didnt deserve to be controlled like that.


      I was so scared of him that I was affraid to leave him. We were appart for a long time and then we got back together for like 3mths.  I found out that he had cheated on me with his ex and that he was going to the bar with her. While I was sitting in the hospital thinking my grandma was dying he was out with her bragging about he was glad I was gone instead of being by the phone for me to call him if I needed him. It just so happend that he took her to my friends house and he cares about me a lot and so he got really mad. His brother told my friend that my bf and a girl at thier house so I left him again.


     He had tore my life upside down and I still love him. I also found out that he slept with the girl that was a distant cousin of mine in my bed. We have been split up for over a year atleast and he married this summer. I am heartbroken and my world is upside down and broken.


 I will always love him, he is the one who took something from me that I can never take back and now I have nothing to offer when I find the one who loves me back. I dont understand how I can love someone who made me do things I didnt want to do and that made me cry so many times but I will always love him. I hope he treats his wife better than he did me.

foxybaby806 foxybaby806 19-21, F 13 Responses Jan 2, 2007

Your Response

Cancel

i hought he loved me back.. ginamit lng pala aq.<br />
its really hurt to accept the truth... <br />
sad..

You are so lucky he married someone else. Now you are free to find real love. I also lost my virginity to an immature man. He moved on......and i was heart broken. I had to learn to love myself first. Still working on this and feeling happy and free and I know that one day the right person will come along. Good luck.

you are a really wonderful person and that guy never deserved you. You deserve someone way better than that jerk. Even i'm feeling heartbroken like you now and can't eat anything or sleep at night since she left me. I have no respect for people who cheat. But no matter how much she hurts me i'll always love her and i'll always be there to help her if ever she needs help. She told me lies and broke my heart but still i'm unable to hate her. I really hope she has a very happy life with whoever she is with. I want you to be happy again because there are so many new things to learn in life. Yes, sometimes life is very bad and unfair to good and decent people. We just have to learn to deal with it. If you are unable to get over the pain, then i would suggest you go for counselling. I can understand your pain as i am in a similar situation.

life is short better play hard!!! open your bible and read psaume 34

life is short better play hard!!! open your bible and read psaume 34

U ARE SO NAIVE I AM SAYING ANYONE CAN FALL FOR A JERK BUT TO LET THIS MAN BECOME LIKE A GOD OVER U DISSING UR FAMILY AND FRENS FOR THIS *** HOLE THEN SAYING U STILL LOVE HIM U DONT KNOW WHAT REAL LOVE IS REAL LOVE WILL GIVE AND ALLOW U TO TAKE U WERE OBSESSED THATS THE RIGHT WORD. HE WAS CHEATING INFRONT OF U AND U CHOOSE NOT TO SEE IT, IM NOT A MEANY JUST REAL PLAIN AND UP FRONT.IT BREAKS MY HEART TO SEE WOMAN AKKOW MAN THESE ******** TO USE THEM

You have so much more to offer than just your virginity to a guy. Find out who you are and you will always have something to offer a significant other.

You had a lucky escape from that controlling person.

One thing I've learned is that life changes a lot over the years...you stop desperately loving people you thought you'd die without, new people come into your life, new experiences replace the bad ones. Take it from someone who has had a miserable marriage...be glad he's cut you free and you can move on with your life. You have a deep attachment to him because he's been in your life since you were really young. It's not actually him you're having to get over...it's lost years, wasted time, wasted youth. But you've got your life ahead of you! Go live it! Much love to you.

I think the key here is, while you may always love him, you have to learn to let go of him. Yes, I know it's easier said than done...and with the relationship being as abusive as it was, you may even want to get some professional counseling to help you with that. But learning to let go was the thing that ultimately set me free, and it can work for you to.

i think you need to be more realistic and move on with life .........end of the day he is simply doesn't deserve you.<br />
<br />
Alicorno

I too, loved someone like that and was married to him for 14 years! A very abusive relationship. He was my world and I thought I would die when he left me. We shared 3 beautiful children together.He beat me and cheated on me for years! I remember going to bed while he was out partying with friends crying and praying for god to help me find someone that would return my love. I moved back in with my parents got a job and tried to forget about him. There were times I almost went back and I just kept thinking about all the rotten thinks he did to me. 9 years ago I met the man I have prayed for all my life. He accepted my children and me for who I am. He never questions me and makes me feel beautiful every day! keep the faith you will find someone WHO DESERVES YOU! AND YES i FEEL SORRY FOR HIS WIFE ALSO!