Why Not Me?

I am currently a senior in high school. My sophomore year I was dating a boy who was extremely bad news. We broke up abruptly after about a month of dating. The next week I was extremely lonely and distraught. I snuck him in while my parents were asleep and we did some things I am too embarrassed to say. The next day I felt guilty, regretful, and in need of someone in which to confide. I was online when a friend of a friend struck up a conversation. He was very sweet and I eventually told him everything. I probably shouldn't have, but he was very understanding and we remain best friends to this day. The problem is: I have fallen in love with him. I feel silly saying this as I am so young, but I can't imagine my life without him. I tell him everything, and he is my rock. When he wanted to pursue a music career, I encouraged him when no one believed in him. He has told me that I am the only girl he trusts and the only girl who truly understands him.  I tell him every day how much I love him, but he does not love me romantically in return. He often describes the type of girl he wants to marry, but what he does not realize is that he is describing me. I can't help but believe that someday something will click and he will love me in return. Now, however, I am slowly losing hope. In February he auditions for a school in Nashville and if he is successful, he will move there. It tears me apart to think about him leaving. I don't know what to do. I think now that he will never love me, but I have no choice but to love him. Being with him as a friend in torture is better than not being with him at all. I truly hope he finds love and success, and I will always be there for him...even though it kills me inside.

allyouneedislove allyouneedislove
18-21, F
10 Responses Jan 7, 2007

ppl problem on a hole is not that they love is that they fall in love dont fall stand bcuz when u stand there is an understanding that like is not black and grey their is a chance ppl u love wont love u back ppl u think were never ganna hurt u do ppl that u hold such a high standard of couldnt give a **** its not that they are a bad person most of them just are , u ready for it......HUMAN BEINGS

YOUNG LADY YOU HAVE AT YOUR FINGER TIPS A WHOLE WORLD TO EXPERIENCE. IF THIS TURNIP IS YOUR FIRST GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT,GET COUNSELING YOUTH IS THAT,YOUN UNTRIED AT LIFE IT HAS HIGHS AND LOWS, DO NOT USE YOUR BODY AS A HANK SHAKE,BUT MAKE THOSE WHO COME INTO YOUR L8IFE WORTHY OF YOU . YOU WILL FIND NOT ALLOWING SEX TO CONFUSE WHAT IS YOUR PLAN IN LIFE GET A COLLEGE ED. OR TRADE? ITS DIFFICULT TO MOVE ON AND TO WASTE TIME CHASING HIM,SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR SELF ESTEAM,DONT FLY WITH BUZZARDS WHEN YOU CAN FLY WITH EAGLES, HE IS GETTING A KICK OUT OF YOU CHASING HIM, DUMP A ZERO AND GET A HERO, COLLEGE IS A WONDERFUL LIFE, GIVE YOUR SELF A SHOT AT FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE. GUYS WILL TELL YOU WHAt you want to hear, survival mood will keep you from being who you are. signed feller

There are two kinds of people, those who hope and those who hope to no end, the latter is tragedy among men.<br />
I'm 26 yrs old, I've learned to not let hope die but to chart it off as a goal unsatisfied. I'm not less for it, I'm stronger.<br />
Accidents are the outcome of unpursued hope. I've learned to set my expectations, take action, adapt in 3 stages and chart it off. Christ rose on the 3rd day! If its not alive after the 3rd try, walk on!<br />
Embrace the dawn Sis, love will find you!

if its meant to be, it will be. if its not, you just have to except the fact that there is someone else out there for you.

ur problem is nothing uncommon, to some extend am facing it too, better concentrate in something else till this attraction fade off

I was nineteen when I fell in love with my best friend. For three years I hoped that maybe tomorrow he will realise he loves me too. It never happened. Basically I was the person he could come to with everything, I was his rock and everything else. He loved to know that I was there for him always, and even though he knew I loved him ( they are not that stupid), it made him feel wonderful that somebody cared unconditionally.<br />
Later I realised that he didn't even care about me enough to stop torturing me, because by opening his heart to me, he was basically torturing me. He didn't love me but he also didn't want to loose that convinient person who was always there.<br />
My advice is , if someone does not love you...you need to let go. NOW.<br />
The pain only gets worse. Don't hope, that's what keeps you going, but believe if he wants you he would have told you by now or you would simply know.

wow..<br />
i was soo touched with your story.<br />
<br />
okay okay..<br />
im speechless already...sory...

How truly sad... Well, I've recently made that same promise to myself, about staying friends with someone even if it kills inside. All I have to say is that you sound like a good person, and I feel awful for you being in such a terrible spot. But one day, if you two stay close, this guy will finally realize how big of a fool he is, and how much better his life would be if he spent it with you.<br />
<br />
Until then... Try not to let it hurt so much. Good people don't deserve that kind of pain.

love em, let em go... yada yada yada... you know the rest.