I Don't Know What What to Do Now?

Well, My ex got my letter I sent her, and she still says that she just doesn't love me like that.  She loves me as a person, but she is not in love with me.  She just wants to be friends.  So on Sunday she had the day off and she wanted to go do something.  So I took her and the kids up to the mountains to the lake, and some friends came along.  We weren't up there for but maybe 4 hours, and we came back into town.

When we got back I noticed how sunburned she was so I got her comfortable and put some sunburn gel on her, and then took the kids and ran some errands.  When I got back she was not feeling very well.  She was starting to get some bad abdominal cramps and was dizzy.  About an hour later she started throwing up and I had to take her up to the hospital.  As it turns out she had a sever case of heat stroke in addition to a very severe sunburn.  Her mom came and got the kids, and I stayed there in the hospital with her.  They admitted her overnight, and I couldn't leave her side.  I knew it wasn't anything real serious or life threatening, but it hurt me to see her in so much pain, but I just couldn't seem to leave her side.  The killer of it was that when she woke up the first thing that she said to me was that I was such a good friend.

They ended up releasing her about 2 pm on Monday afternoon, but the doctor said that she was going to need bed rest for the next couple of days so I took some time off work so that I could help her out.

By Tuesday afternoon she was starting to feel a bit better and she asked me what was wrong. (I had been sort of mopey and depressed.) So I told her.  I told her that I thought that we needed another chance, and that I knew that we could make things work if we could just have another chance, but she said that she didn't love me at that she was interested in someone else and that she didn't want to give it another go.  I then told her that I didn't think that I could be the friend that she wanted me to be, and that I thought that we needed to quite speaking to each other for a while.  That I would call every couple of days to see how the kids were doing and to make arrangements to get them on the weekends because I couldn't do it with her anymore.  I was too in love with her, and that I couldn't deal with talking to her 4-5 times a day and be able to try to move on without her, and then I left.

Well, This lasted all of about 2 hours when she called me up and of course I answered the phone.  She said that she needed me as a friend as someone to talk to, and that for now we couldn't be together because she need to see if she could find with someone else what she felt that was missing in our relationship.  I of course turned around and went back because she still wasn't feeling well, and stayed and helped out until yesterday evening.

I don't know why she has such a strong pull over me.  Well, that is not entirely true.  The biggest problem is that she is my best friend, and truth be told one of my only friends.  When we moved about a year ago I grew away from most all the friends I had before we met.  I was never super close to any of them, but they were someone to hang out with.  But now that I am down here by myself I don't know what to do.  I am not an outgoing person.  So I don't make new friends well, and she has been the one person in my life that I have ever felt truly comfortable around.  I am usually a very guarded person, but with her all my defenses go down completely, and so now I just don't know what to do.  I know that I need to try to find a way to move on, but I don't know how I am going to do it.
bigchuck1397 bigchuck1397
26-30, M
3 Responses Jun 28, 2007

i think my ex boyfriend is like that with me. i had some problems and ended up running to him. i am leaving in a few days. he deserves to be away from me even if he feels otherwise.

I agree with the previous poster. You seem to be a really nice person and you are trapped in this situation of being close to someone who doesnt want the same as you. Do you know how lucky your friend is to have a friend like you/potential partner. If she doesnt want the relationship though there is nothing you can do except move on. Try and make some other friends and get some other interests even if it is hard for you. Better to do something than be stuck like you are now in a limbo. Good luck, Tiffany123

You may want to find a club, or some other activity, that you can get involved in to start making some other friends. You won't be able to stop talking to her, as you know, because of the kids, but right now she is draining you emotionally and giving little in return. You were right to say that you both need to move on if you aren't going to get back together, and I think you should stand your ground on that. Good luck.