Trying to Get By

It all started a little over a year ago. 1 thing you should know is that im painfully shy. I dont really talk much in school, I mostly keep to myself. So my family decided to move to a new state for a few reasons. 1 of those reasons being that they thought i could meet new people and stop being so shy. At first i thought it wouldnt really work. then i met turned out the only reason she even started talking to me was because she knew who everyone in the class except me because i never talk. but then we started to get to know eachother. i liked her but i didnt think she would want someone like me. but after a few weeks she actually asked me out. we went on our 1st date. we both had a great time. so we started going out together.  after a few months i really started to have strong feelings for her. i didnt tell her though. 1 night on the phone she asked me out of the blue if i loved her. i said i thought so. she said she did too. it was great, i never felt like this before. we were together for an entire year. she told me i was a lot more romantic than a lot of other guys shes dated. but it all came crashing down on our 1 year aniversery. i texted her to see if she wanted to do anything to celebrate. she said she had some stuff to do. i understood since she was moving in to a new house at the time. then later that day she called me and said it was over. she told me she loved someone else. she told me that a week earlier when she was staying the night at my house, she snuck out of my house in the middle of the night to go see her ex-boyfriend. she also told me that she cheated earlier that day.i was devastated. she couldnt even wait a day so she wouldnt have to tell me on our aniversery. at first i tried my hardest to get her back but she resisted. i was so in love with her. i couldnt take it. i felt so alone. i was even thinking about commiting suicide (dont worry, since then i was able to talk to someone and now im better). i told her how miserable i was and that i almost went through with it. she just thought i was lying to her just to make her feel bad and get her back. now she doesnt want to even speak to me, she wont answer my calls or texts, she doesnt want anything to do with me. i still have lingering feelings for her, but i have to see her EVERY day at school. i have her in 2 i said earlier im really shy around people i dont know. so it makes it increasingly hard to find someone that can help fill that void in my life. i really feel sympathy for anyone whos been cheated on because i definatley have experienced it. and i hope i never have to go through this again. thanks for taking the time to read this and please comment.

EDIT: well, i thought since i would have 5 days off for thanksgiving break, it would help me forget all about her since i didnt have to see her. Coming on here and sharing my story w/ everyone helped a lot. So i thought i would be able to get thru the day more easily. that was until i saw her again today. today was my 1st day back @ school. when i walked in the room, she looked so beautiful. god ive never seen her like this before, she got her hair cut shorter. i always told her she would look great w/ short hair. just the way it made her look, it was just jaw dropping. and this reminded me of all the reasons i loved her in the 1st place. she was smiling, her hair just made her look so genuinley gorgeous to me. now im so sad that i can never have her back. not only that but now i have no choice but to see her every day, and wish this never hapened. its tearing me apart inside.

someguy48 someguy48
18-21, M
4 Responses Nov 27, 2008

Hey I know how it feels to love someone and then lose them.You seem like your a really nice person.Any girl should feel lucky to have someone like you.That empty space you feel in your heart,It will be filled in time.I'd know I feel lonely and empty all the time but I realized that in time it will be filled.Don'y give up.

i know it really feels bad to be on this kind of situation. i guess there is nothing we can do about how we feel except to go thru with the emotion (being heart broken) so we can move on soon. for me, that's the fastest way to accept reality and be able to move on by making a decision to let go of the person & find the next one to love. it sucks to feel pain but it is part of life & most of the time it is the reason we become a lot stronger than we already are. you loved and got your heart broken. what the heck, just make sure you find the courage to love again. <br />
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what's worse than getting your heart broken? feeling nothing..

thnx 4 both of u commenting. i really apreciate the support. its hard to get through the skool day when in the classes we have 2gether she constantley brags about her boyfriend. and i dont really have many people to talk to about this. so thnx 2 both of u.

aww i feel sorry 4 u, i hope ur ok id ur still at skwl lyk me weve got agesss 2 find sum1 :-) x