It's a Heartbreak

     I was introduced to this girl through a friend of mine via phone.  We both met on our first date by going out to play miniature golf first. Then out to a really nice casual restaurant where we both really hit it off exchanging each other personal life stories.  Well, "Kate" is about eleven years younger than me, but the age thing didn't bother us.  She was also the kind of girl that was very shy and very sweet.  I thought her personality was neat, despite her being very timid and not saying much.  Anyway on our second date I decided to visit her hometown and to have dinner at a chinese restaurant there.  She seemed very cheerful and giddy.  Afterwards Kate wanted us to go to the local park for a walk and we did and had fun doing so.  For the next two weeks we would call each other every night til midnight.  I thought maybe she would start to have feelings for me at this point, and me the same. 

     Our phone conversations is where we were building up our friendship, me making her laugh and telling jokes and her telling me how she felt about me.  Well, on our fifth date I kinda noticed that Kate wasn't smiling and saying much at the restaurant.  Also at the park that we went to I wanted to tell her how I was feeling about her, but I can sense that something may be wrong and just had a funny vibe about it.  I called her the next night and she seemed ok. 

     It was a Friday night and I went to go sing at a karaoke bar in the city that I live in.  Kate was at her home at the time.  Well during that moment I received a phone call from a friend of mine that introduced me to her and she told me something that made my heart drop.  Said to me that Kate has feelings for someone else.  First I couldn't believe it but then the reality started to sink in.  My friend told me that Kate's friend went to visit her at a campsite near her hometown and discovered that she went camping with another man! I was also informed that she has stronger feeling for him than me.  What else could I do but call her and confront her about this.  She confessed and I told her that it was over between us.  To this day it has been exactly a month the last time I spoke to her.  All I can do now is try to move on and hopefully, when I least expect it, to meet the right person and get to know that person for a long time before moving in on love.  Other fishes in the sea, as the saying goes.

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9 Responses Aug 6, 2006

age thing didn't bother us, but i bet my bottom dollar is was there. if you're gonna be 11 years older have at least roughly 11 years more smarts. Ok she's a gal she'll likely be smarter than most men ever will be, but hey, she enjoyed the connection and quietly overlooked the difference in perception that while you were seeing it as a leading to something, she was seeing it as a timefiller until something better came along. Humiliating as hell i know. You do learn loads though by sucking it up.

And yes she is entitled to like someone else. But she was manipulative too. And she can deny it till the cows come home and there's nothin you can do. Like I say gals are smart. You had a need, she had one too, they were different so this is how it played out. Find someone you can really trust, gems out there.

You hit the nail on the head. It takes time to know for sure if real love feelings are there. Too many people rush into things and mistake lust for love.

Look i am sorry if its rude to you. But i m not.. Whats her mistake if she doesnt love love and love someone else? You cant force anyone to love you. As you felt for her likewise she felt for someone else. Look same happened to me. Even worse. But i dont curse her. Please try to understand. Love cannot be bound. It should be from both side

You have the right attitude, there ARE other fishes my dear!! <br />


Wow - I sure know how you felt having been there.<br />
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So were you confrontational or just asking questions. Did you really listen to her answers? Not knowing the whole thing I can only say sometimes things are not what they appear to be.<br />
My other point is did the 2 of you say you were serious about each other? As hard as it is we have to remember we're all free agents until we commit to someone. Everyone has their own way of dealing with these things and personally I feel you were heasty in judging her and breaking it off - but that's just me because I know there are always 2 sides to any story.

Luckily you only had a 'short time' invested in this relationship. I am not saying you didn't get hurt because you did. But hopefully the impact was more of a serious dent than a crater and you can move on.... you are young. Good Luck

It's not youur fault :) its her indesciveness .. there will comee a day or even time in her lifee when she will realise what she lost and maybe the man she initially was with isn't all she hoped for sorry . . but i havee to ask did she cheat ?? If so . . Once A Cheater Always a Cheater !! lolzz that goes for her friend aswell . . which my friend wouuld be karma :)

Hehe, that sucks, but it inspired me that you try instantly to move on, rather than cry about it. Heh, I've never fallen in love with anyone, (I only had short relationships :( ) I wonder what I would do in such situations, it's a side of me I have yet to see.

wow tough break man. i know just how you feel. i've had it happen to me about 3-4 times already. i feel like killing my self. but every day i just keep remembering that there is someone special waiting for me out there. my advice just keep thinging that and you'll be o-kzae.