The Confession of a Prom Date Reject

I want to say I've been in denial for five years now.... But deep down inside unrequited lovers are well aware of their feelings.

I loved this boy the first time I saw him. There was nothing special about him. He was just as pimply faced as the next 16 year old boy. Now I had crushes long before him but unfortuanately I didn't know he would be my last for time to come. I think it was his name that drew me. Both our names sound alike so I was tickled everytime my Spanish teacher took attendance. And yes those eyes...those big brown eyes...they were intriguging eyes I had ever seen.

It would be those same eyes, however, that would cause my deepest pain. My first love was a disease and like many diseases it was incrable. There was no magic pill I could take to ease the pain. I prayed to God heal it-- cursing him in vain.

valentine days had pass. school dances would pass and I waited their patiently waiting for my high school love to return it.Looking back now I remember times went he tried to "let me down gently". texts messages oh and the "dare". Yes the shy church girl tried to steal a kiss was caught in the act. I should have known when he turned his cheek away that he could never love me back.

But as we all know this is least of my troubles with this subject. The problem occurs when some of us still love despite the truth. Yes it kills us but perhaps it's the thing that keeps us alive. What wouldn't I have gived to marry my high school sweetheart?

I wrote him letters compromised friendships even ours just to see what would it have been like on the other side. There were no "back-ups or re-ups". I have never been in a  relationship since I was 13 and I'm almost 21 now. No boy was ever good enough...No matter how many fine guys I saw no matter how sweet or smart no one could ever measure up to the boy in drama block i would daydream about for so many days.

Like most of these stories, I took the worse turn any one in my case does they strive to be "best of friends". I tell him my secrets and he tell me his. And there was this line that I had this line I said I would never cross...and guess what? I crossed it so effortlessly without hesitation...

Last September my aunt asked me about my boyfriend. Now you and I our both thinking "What boyfriend right?"

"You know that boy you followed up to know whats his name?" she said. And since then I haven't been the same.

You see it has finally hit me that for the past few years I have relentlessly loved this boy so much that I have altered my life's happiness. And this by far had to be one of the worst sins known to man...and perhaps "Confessing" it will be the first step to redemption.

excerpt from the cautionary novel The Confession of A Prom Date Reject by DeAnne Renee.
prmdatereject86 prmdatereject86
22-25, F
3 Responses Jan 18, 2007

I know what it's like to not be able to get over someone...everyone else pales in comparison to that person. And you know they don't love you...and you love them all the more for it somehow. I would be more than willing to start a relationship with a nice guy that comes my way...but none have, not since him. I still miss him. I feel guilty that I told him I would stop trying to win him over, but inside I feel exactly the same as the first day I saw his face...

i'm not sure if you wrote this, or if it came from a book. but it is inspiring. seems like both she (you?) and i need to let someone go... need to move on. Keep this as a treasured memory. Give yourself a year of happiness and catch up on youth. Write a note in your diary a year from now and if you feel the something about it