I've Gotten Over the Person, But Not the Experience

As I have mentioned before, I fell in love with a girl (like me).  I was deeply hurt because she told me that I was difficult to love.  She begged me to attend her wedding, and it was so foolish of me to do so.

We used to be best friends.  I miss our friendship.  She lives on the other side of the world.  She came home last January.  She treated me like I was just one of her acquaintances. Of course, it hurt.  I gave my all and this is all I get...

I am over her now.  But sometimes I still cry when I remember that she told me that I was difficult to love, that I wasn't beautiful.  I was so in love with her that I allowed her to hurt me.  I couldn't bear to leave her, so I stuck with her until I really had to let go because she got married.

I have a new best friend.  She loves me very much, although she just loves me like a sister.  I feel the same way about her.  I am grateful to have her in my life.  She is my sunshine.  She makes me feel loved, but we have no romantic feelings for each other.

Still, it hurts to remember what my former best friend said to me.  Although I try to tell myself that what she told me wasn't true at all, something inside me tells me it is.  Imagine someone you love deeply telling you that you are not beautiful and you are difficult to love! It hurt like hell at that time and it continues to hurt just as much even though I've already gotten over her.

bluemoon143 bluemoon143
31-35, F
Feb 23, 2009